https://www.happiness.com/rss/1-happinesscom-magazine.xml/rss feed happinessenhttps://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/why-volunteering-is-important-benefits/Becoming a volunteer is an important and meaningful way to help individuals and communities. And, as Calvin Holbrook writes, the multiple benefits of volunteering are proven by science. With most of us leading busy lives, the idea of volunteering – giving your time and energy to a cause without financial reward – may seem an impossible task. How can we fit anything else into our already jam-packed schedules? However, volunteering is important for many reasons and doesn't have to take up a huge chunk of your time. Furthermore, as well as the obvious benefits of volunteering to the community, individual or organization receiving assistance, there are multiple benefits – physical and mental – for the volunteer. It's these benefits that could partly explain the rise in popularity of volunteering over the past few years. During 2012-13, 29 per cent of adults in England, UK, said they had formally volunteered at least once a month. The figure in the United States is not far off, at around 25 per cent (with slightly more women volunteering than men). Promisingly, an increasing number of these people are young adults. In the UK, figures show that 2.9 million people in the 16 to 25-year-old age group volunteered during 2015, compared to just 1.8 million in 2010: an almost 40 per cent increase. Volunteering is an important tool to connect communities So, why the interest in volunteering? The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said that the essence of life is “to serve others and do good,” and it seems an increasing number of us are starting to wake up and see why volunteering is important. Many of us are starting to understand how serving and helping each other and different communities benefits not just others but ourselves, too. So, just why is volunteering important? Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community. Indeed, many organziations and charities rely on the generosity of volunteers as they’re only part-funded through government or local councils, and cannot afford to pay salaries for all their staff. In fact, many companies depend almost solely upon teams of volunteers to help them thrive and do their work. What are the benefits of volunteering? Of course, the benefits of volunteering for those receiving help are clear. Whether it’s providing kids in a Third World country with free English classes or litter picking at your local beach, the benefits to the receiver and the wider community are usually part of the reason why you decide to volunteer in the first place. “Volunteering is important as it offers essential help to worthwhile causes, people in need, and the wider community.” But did you realise just how important volunteering could be for the person doing it? In fact, volunteering is beneficial to the doer for a whole host of reasons, including stress reduction, combating depression and providing a sense of purpose. And while studies show that the more you volunteer, the more benefits you’ll experience, volunteering doesn’t have to involve a long-term commitment. Even giving in simple ways can help those in need and improve your overall health and happiness. So, let’s take a closer look at just why volunteering is valuable with seven key benefits of this altruistic act. 1. Volunteering connects you with others If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and often fun – way to meet new people. In fact, one of the best ways to make new friends and strengthen existing relationships is to commit to a shared activity together, and volunteering lets you do just that. If you’ve recently moved to a new city or country, volunteering is an easy way to meet new people, strengthening your ties to the local community and broadening your own support network. Furthermore, it connects you to people who have common interests and passions who could go on to become great friends. RELATED: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits Happy Habits: 12 Ways to Boost Joy Levels Daily Finding Your Tribe: The 7 Steps You Need to Take In fact, volunteering is an important and interesting way to meet people who you might not normally connect with: people from different age groups, ethnicities or social groups. Because volunteering is open to everyone, it allows you to meet a wide variety of people from all sorts of walks of life, something that can only broaden your life experience further. 2. Volunteerism builds self-confidence and self-esteem Doing good for others and the community helps to create a natural sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Working as a volunteer can also give you a sense of pride and identity, helping to boost your confidence further by taking you out of your comfort zone and environment. Indeed, volunteering helps you to feel better about yourself, which you can then take back to your ‘regular’ routine, hopefully creating a more positive view of your own life and future goals. Volunteering builds self-confidence and reduces loneliness If you’re naturally shy or fearful of new experiences, cultures and travel, volunteering overseas could be an important and insightful way to help you build self-confidence in this area (not forgetting the other benefit of this type of volunteering – a chance to see a bit of the world at the same time!). Furthermore, research shows that volunteering could be particularly useful in boosting the self-esteem and confidence of adolescents who are just starting their life journey. A 2017 study from the University of Missouri and Brigham Young University that included almost 700 11- to 14-year-olds examined how sharing, helping and comforting others affected self-confidence. The study found that altruistic behaviors raises teens' feelings of self-worth, and that adolescents who assisted strangers reported higher self-esteem one year later. A National Youth Agency report seemed to corroborate this evidence. In it, young people aged 11 to 25 “repeatedly stressed that volunteering had increased their self-confidence, self-esteem and self-belief.” This self-confidence boost was shown to be strongly linked to improved communication skills, especially amongst young volunteers who were previously nervous about meeting new people. 3. Volunteering is important for physical health Interestingly, volunteering has distinct health benefits that can boost your mental and – perhaps surprisingly – physical health. Indeed, a growing body of evidence suggests that people who give their time to others might benefit from lower blood pressure and a longer lifespan. “If you’re feeling lonely or simply want to widen your social circle, volunteering in your local community is an important – and fun – way to meet new people.” A 1999 study showed that so-called ‘high volunteers’ (helping out at two or more organizations) had a 63 per cent lower mortality rate than non-volunteers. And more recent research (2013) from Carnegie Mellon University found that adults over 50 who volunteered regularly were less likely to develop high blood pressure (hypertension) compare to non-volunteers. Hypertension is an important indicator of health as it contributes to stroke, heart disease and premature death. Lead study author Rodlescia Sneed said that carrying out volunteer work can increase physical activity among those who aren’t normally very active, and that it could also reduce stress: “Many people find volunteer work to be helpful with respect to stress reduction, and we know that stress is very strongly linked to health outcomes.” Importantly, volunteers seem to notice these health benefits too. Indeed, a 2013 study from UnitedHealth Group and the Optum Institute of over 3,300 U.S. adults revealed that 76 per cent of those in the United States who volunteer said it makes them feel physically healthier. Also, around 25 per cent said that volunteering had been important in helping them manage a chronic health condition. 4. Volunteerism improves mental health When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. Being altruistic in this way can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety. Indeed, the social contact aspect of helping others can have a profound effect on your overall psychological well-being. Volunteering keeps you in regular contact with others and helps you develop a solid support system, which in turn combats against feelings of loneliness and depression. Volunteering with animals has also been shown to improve mood while reducing stress and anxiety. Volunteering has many important health benefits Finally, volunteering boosts mental health simply because carrying out an altruistic act makes you happier; the so-called 'helper's high'. Human beings are hard-wired to give to others, and by measuring so-called brain activity and happiness hormones, researchers have found that being helpful to others can deliver great pleasure. RELATED: The Power of Kindness Shared Humanity: Why it Matters Human Kindness: Why We Need it More Than Ever A 2008 study from the London School of Economics examined the relationship between volunteering and happiness in a large group of American adults. The researchers found that the more people volunteered, the happier they were. Compared with people who never volunteered, the odds of being ‘very happy’ rose seven per cent among those who volunteer monthly and 12 per cent for those who volunteer every two to four weeks. 5. Volunteering is important for a sense of purpose Because volunteering means choosing to work without receiving monetary compensation, people often choose to give their time to issues or organisations they feel are important or have a special connection to. For example, if you're a big animal lover you may want to volunteer at a pet shelter. Or, perhaps you’ve living with or have recovered from an illness and want to dedicate some of your spare time to a charity that helps others living with the same condition. Volunteering like this helps address a social problem that is meaningful to you and in turn helps to build a sense of purpose, which further boosts your own happiness levels. “When it comes to volunteering being important for mental health, the benefits are clear. It can help counteract the effects of stress, depression and anxiety.” You can try volunteering at any age to help build a sense of purpose, but it’s often particularly common in older adults – those that have retired or maybe lost a partner of friends. Whatever your age of life story, volunteering can be an important technique to help give your life new meaning and direction. 6. Volunteering helps you forget your own problems One other benefit of volunteering is that focusing on others can give us a deeper sense of perspective and help distract us from negative thoughts and help stop rumination. Volunteering often involves helping those in need and can be useful in showing us that, in fact, our own lives are not as bad as we thought they were. 7. Volunteering is important for your career In an increasingly competitive job market, volunteering experience can be incredibly useful. It shows potential employers that you can take initiative and that you’re willing to give your own time to improve the world for other people. Furthermore, volunteering gives you the opportunity to practice important common skills used in the workplace, such as communication, teamwork, problem solving, planning and organization. Indeed, if you haven’t had a full-time job before then volunteering is an essential way to prove your skills when you do go for work interviews. Boost future job prospects through volunteering Also, if you’ve just graduated or looking for your first job, volunteering is an important and relatively easy way to get a foot in the door of a company you’d like to work with. Even if there's no immediate chance of employment afterwards, volunteering can help you to make connections for the future. Furthermore, if you’ve already had jobs and are considering a change of direction, volunteering is an important and fun way to try out different career options, especially if you’re not quite sure of where you want to go next. Indeed, volunteering offers you the chance to try out a new career without making a long-term commitment! Takeaway: the Benefits of Volunteering It's clear the benefits of volunteering are huge – improved physical and mental health, new friends and avoiding loneliness, a sense of purpose and deeper self-confidence. In turn, all of these things will help to boost your overall happiness: a win-win situation for all involved. If you're considering volunteering, ask yourself a few questions before taking the plunge. Firstly, think about which causes you're passionate about – it means you're more likely to enjoy and stay committed to the work. Secondly, are you looking for regular volunteering opportunities or a one-off project? Thirdly, what skill set can you offer and what can you hope to gain from volunteering? Good luck when you finally get going, and make sure you have fun – volunteering is important – the benefits are clear – but it's important to enjoy it too! • Images: shutterstock/Dragon Images, shutterstock/ESB Professional, shutterstock/Rawpixel.com, shutterstock/Monkey Business Images, Have you ever volunteered? What are the benefits for you? Share in the comments below... happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Join free now and: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Kindness | Motivation | Learning | Altruism Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits our online magazine, makes art and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!Mon, 02 Jun 2025 08:21:29 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/choose-kindness/Choosing kindness over negativity or indifference may not be our default setting, but we can cultivate it over time through consistent action. Sonia Vadlamani suggests 7 ways in which we can always be kind towards others – and ourselves, too. The discussion around kindness has heightened ever since the COVID-19 pandemic unfolded, perhaps owing to the rise of various aid groups during lockdowns and contingencies, or because the interruption of life as we knew it caused us to reconsider our priorities and values. Indeed, kindness is undoubtedly considered one of the most prized social currencies, in addition to being the cornerstone for humankind’s virtues. Philosophers and spiritual gurus have hailed the virtue of kindness as a potent gift for centuries, while academic researchers and psychologists have conducted considerable research centered on the power of kindness. Still, at some point in our lives, most of us have been denied a more compassionate approach by someone, or have disregarded the option to extend kindness towards others. Some of us may have been bullied online or received a harsh response to a genuine query, and at times we’ve regretted our indifferent or judgmental behavior towards others. With the wide-ranging benefits of kindness so well known, why do we need to be reminded to choose kindness – why don’t we 'just be kind' all the time? Why we should always choose kindness It's fair to wonder why we should have to 'choose' kindness, rather than it being our natural state. However, our perennially busy and fast-paced lives may have rendered us indifferent to the suffering and problems of those around us. Furthermore, our inherent negativity bias may persuade us to react strongly to unfavorable or unpleasant outcomes, instead of assessing the situation in a more objective light. RELATED: What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real? Additionally, human beings are wired to judge others according to their character and actions, while they tend to judge themselves based on the situation. This tendency – also known as “fundamental attribution error” – is based on the inconsistency in our reaction towards other people’s actions or views. While we may attribute our failures or decisions to the circumstances we were caught up in during a situation, we do not readily assess other people’s behavior and problems in the same understanding manner. For instance, if I ever park too close to someone else’s car, then I must have had an emergency, and hence it should be forgiven as a one-off incident. However, if someone else parked outside their line so that their vehicle encroaches on my parking spot, then they must be irresponsible and need to be taught a lesson! Does this line of thinking seem familiar to you? Donating goods – or time – to a food bank is one way to choose kindness Indeed, choosing kindness can bring about a much-needed shift in the way we judge. Always being kind can teach us to look carefully and objectively at the way we react to external stimuli and assess the circumstances before we react in a rude or harsh manner. How to Always Be Kind “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible,” as the 14th Dalai Lama famously stated. Choosing kindness poses several benefits for us and others around us, yet costs nothing. To cultivate kindness as a daily practice, Dr Tara Cousineau – renowned psychotherapist and author of The Kindness Cure – suggests that we ponder over the question: how can I bring kindness into my day, in any small way? “Choosing kindness can bring about the much-needed shift in the way we judge. Being kind can teach us to look carefully and objectively at the way we react to external stimuli. Always be kind.” “Kindness is not random,” says Dr Cousineau. She explains that choosing kindness intentionally requires us to be compassionate, considerate, understanding and forgiving in a consistent manner, even on the days we may not feel like it. Authentic kindness requires genuine intention and effort on our part. The process of always being kind may gradually get easier once we start experiencing the joy or cheer that being kind sparks in others. How Does Choosing Kindness Benefit Us? Being kind comes with a wealth of research-backed benefits. Acting kindly can make us feel less anxious, and can ease social avoidance tendencies, allowing us to form meaningful connections. Kindness can also combat psychological distress and alleviate depression. A study by Dr Hans Kirschner from the University of Exeter revealed that being kind switches off our inbuilt threat response, allowing us to feel safe and relaxed. In turn, this promotes tissue regeneration and healing in the body. This ability to switch off the threat response can reduce the onset of disease and boost our well-being. 7 ways to choose kindness every day Cultivating kindness in our daily routine begins with consistent action. Researcher Helen Weng compares the ability to practice kindness with the science of weightlifting, wherein one can build their ‘compassion muscle’ and get more adept at helping others with sufficient practise. So, here are seven ways in which we can try to choose to be kind and considerate every day: 1. Create a kindness plan It's possible to choose kindness in the way of small gestures and little things that can spread happiness and brighten someone’s day. Jot down one act of kindness for each day of the month – for others and yourself – that you can carry out, thus encouraging the neural pathways in your brain towards embracing positivity and compassion. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation shares a comprehensive list of kindness ideas that can be carried out with minimal effort. Some examples of random acts of kindness can include: Buying a few extra items at the supermarket for donations – many supermarkets now have designated areas where you can leave produce. Alternatively, look into ways of donating to food banks. Complimenting a stranger in a good-natured manner. Befriending an elderly person to help them combat loneliness: inviting them for a chat over a coffee. Supporting local businesses by buying their products. 2. Practise compassionate listening Offering someone our undivided attention in the form of mindful listening can be a simple, effective and free way to choose kindness. Remember, it is essential to keep all technological distractions and our inner judgmental voice at bay while we listen compassionately. 3. Donate or raise funds for charity A 2010 survey conducted by Harvard Business School pointed out that individuals who were more generous financially and made sizeable charitable donations measured highest for overall happiness levels. The study revealed that prosocial spending, or utilizing one’s financial resources to help others resulted in improved emotional well-being. RELATED: Money Can't Buy Happiness (Except When You Spend it Like This!) Raising funds for animal welfare, organizing a fundraiser for the care of cancer patients at your local hospital, helping a neighbor who may be facing a crisis by organizing a charity drive, etc. are some of the ways you could bring about a positive change by choosing kindness. A litter pick shows kindness to the planet 4. Choose to be kind online While the advent of social media has made us more aware and conscious, unfortunately it also has given rise to rampant cyberbullying, and hostile behavior based on one’s appearance, ethnicity, gender stereotypes, and personal beliefs, etc. RELATED: Adult Bullying And How to Deal With It We can choose kindness online by encouraging positive messages, spreading cheer and love instead of hate, and ignoring negative or hateful content. Even when we disagree with someone, it's always possible to do so in an objective and respectable manner. 5. Choose kindness for the planet While gardening offers several mental health benefits as a hobby, it can contribute towards greener and cleaner living spaces as well. Finding small ways to reduce our carbon footprint and adopting more sustainable practices like picking up litter, packing a waste-free lunch, carrying your own tote to grocery shop, etc, can go a long way to improve the world around us. 6. Practise kindness at work It's important to remember that your employees and coworkers have their own challenges, hidden from plain sight. Leading with compassion can improve morale, boost productivity and ensure higher employee retention, according to research. “Choosing kindness intentionally requires us to be compassionate, considerate, understanding and forgiving in a consistent manner, even on the days we may not feel like it.” Leaders in service industry – and hospitality sector in particular – quite possibly realize the importance of choosing “habitual kindness”, in attempts to deliver experiences that customers will remember forever. Indeed, consumer decisions are often based on how well their expectations were met and the collective experience, so if you find yourself being loyal to a particular brand or service provider, it's probably because their leadership drives down kindness as their core value. 7. Choose to be kind to yourself Always being kind towards yourself becomes more crucial than ever during adverse times, or when you are feeling low. After all, it’s harder to practice kindness towards others when you’re stressed or overwhelmed. Befriending yourself gently through self-compassion and self-care is the first step towards choosing kindness. Psychologist Kristen Neff suggests establishing helpful self-compassion breaks when you find that you’re stressed or being too harsh on yourself. Place a hand over your heart and practice saying to yourself: “May I regard myself in a gentler, fair light”, or, “May I bring kindness to this moment, even when I’m stressed.” These self-compassion statements will help you centre your attention back to choosing kindness for yourself. The takeaway: choosing kindness As the famous saying goes, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”. While we may not remember every person we ever met by their name, we are likely to remember each act of kindness rendered to us. Indeed, choosing kindness as a daily practice can offer a host of physiological and psychological benefits. Deciding to always be kind – especially in situations where our inner voice is telling us to escalate conflict – may take some practice, but it can also create long-lasting happiness for others, as well as ourselves. ● Images: shutterstock/BAZA Production, shutterstock/Dragon Images happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Compassion | Altruism | Empathy Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.Mon, 02 Jun 2025 06:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/self-inquiry-who-am-i/At its core, self-inquiry is the persistent introspection on the question “Who am I?” to discover the source of the Self. Rachel Markowitz explores the fuller meaning of self inquiry, and shares steps to practice it. About 12 years ago, towards the end of a month-long program at a yoga retreat center in Central America, I was paired with a coursemate for an “authentic relating” exercise. Our facilitator instructed us to take turns asking each other one question. However, unlike in a typical conversation, the person answering the question was required to speak for five minutes non-stop; and, the person listening would do nothing but listen mindfully – no nodding, no uh-huh-ing, no reactions whatsoever – while keeping their eyes fixed on the speaker. This particular workshop is particularly memorable to me because of its provided prompt: “Who are you?” Like most people in the room, I was caught off guard by this provoking question, unsure how to answer. Yet, with a timer ticking away and my heart open and vulnerable from a month of living in community, I began to fill the silence by voicing streams of thoughts. At first, my answers felt shallow – a list of pronouns, roles, and qualifications about my past and present life. However, as I continued to sort through my initial impressions, my answers became more profound until, suddenly, I realized that my real response was beyond words. Self-inquiry is a practice of looking within with questions So, although my introduction to self-inquiry – sometimes written as self-enquiry – was not through a traditional method, it brought me clarity about something I had never considered before – that I am not my body, not my emotions, and, as confusing as it was to me at that point in life, that I am also not my mind or a mere soul on some journey. Personal experiences aside, self-inquiry is known throughout spiritual traditions as a powerful method for bringing about paradigm-shifting changes to constructs about life and Self. So, let's take a deeper look at the meaning of self-inquiry, its origins, and how you can begin to practice self-inquiry with questions. What is the Meaning of Self-Inquiry? Self-inquiry, or atma vichara in Sanskrit, is a practice of looking within for the source of the Self. This inquiry most commonly takes the form of a simple question directed at ourselves: “Who am I?” Unlike my introduction to self-inquiry, the practice is not actually to answer this question or contemplate it with the mind – it’s simply to ask and observe. Teachings revolving around self-inquiry suggest that when we directly question “I,” (also known as the ego), the construct of “I” has nowhere to hide. “Self-inquiry is a practice of looking within for the source of the Self. This usually takes the form of a simple question directed at ourselves: “Who am I?.” Thus, with repeated interrogation and sustained introspection, our sense of “I” eventually subsides, revealing our true nature. When “I” falls away, we are left with pure awareness because every thought we could possibly have depends on the existence of “I.” Is Self-Inquiry Meditation? Although many people label self-inquiry as “meditation,” this can be a bit misleading. In meditation, there is an object upon which we are meditating (the breath, a mantra, an energetic sensation, etc.) Alternatively, with inquiry, the focus is inward on the self as a subject. When we question ourselves, we begin to see that this subject, “I,” is based on the false assumption that our mind is real! Thus, successful inquiry leads to a lack of separation between subject and object. “Who am I?” is the key self-inquiry question On a similar note, it’s important to mention that when we practice self-inquiry, the question “Who am I?” is repeated frequently – but not as a mantra (commonly used in meditation). If “Who am I?” becomes a mantra, there is separation between the meditator and the object of meditation; thus, we lose focus on the Self. One of the benefits of self-inquiry is that you don’t need to sit and close your eyes to practice. While it certainly helps to devote a set time to doing this, you’ll find that eventually, your inquiry will happen naturally and spontaneously throughout daily activities. Self-Inquiry as a Path to Liberation According to Advaita Vedanta, or the path of nonduality, the practice of self-inquiry is a direct method to experience self-realization. Atma (self) vichara (inquiry) as a path to liberation is encouraged and explained throughout ancient texts including, amongst many others, the Bhagavad Gita, Ribhu Gita, and Yoga Vashishta. However, self-inquiry “meditation” is practiced today largely due to the influence of Sri Ramana Maharshi, an Indian sage or jnani, who realized the Self through a lucid experience of death as a teenager. “Self-inquiry is a powerful and straightforward technique for disidentifying with the typical moment-to-moment mental chatter of the Egoic mind.” Although Ramana Maharshi is primarily known for his silent presence, he often referenced the scriptures above as validation of his own experiential teachings and, furthermore, provided clear instructions for self-inquiry. These basic steps are outlined in the pamphlet “Who Am I?”, and are also described in more detail in the book “Maha Yoga,” which, by its translation, identifies self-inquiry as the “Great” yoga. In fact, in Sri Ramana’s own words, “Self-enquiry is the one infallible means, the only direct one, to realize the unconditioned, absolute Being that you really are.” However, even if your spiritual path is unclear and self-realization is not your intention, questioning your self-nature can provide balance, clarity, and authenticity in all areas of life. How To Practice Self-Inquiry According to Ramana Maharshi’s teachings, self-inquiry is an advanced practice. However, in this case, “advanced” refers to mature spiritual seekers. Thus, if you’re called to investigate the nature of Self through inquiry, this curiosity is likely credential enough. Ramana Maharshi celebrated on an Indian stamp Nevertheless, to begin to practice, you’ll need to learn to calm your mind! You can do this by following your breath, focusing on your heart center, or any other concentration method that works for you. Once your mind feels peaceful and present, you can begin to inquire: When a thought arises, ask yourself, “To whom is this thought?” (Your answer will likely be something like, “To Me.”) Ask yourself, “Who Am I?” (This question will confound your rational mind and direct it to the source of “I,” extinguishing all other thoughts, which cannot exist without the “I-thought.”) When another thought comes, repeat this process. With practice, you’ll find that your mind will begin to rest, effortlessly and thoughtlessly, in the spiritual heart center – the source, according to Ramana Maharshi’s teachings, of the “I-thought.” In other words, the spiritual heart is the place from which the ego arises. Once you can fix your mind in this space of pure awareness, you can stop your inquiry and remain as you are, free of “I.” “According to Advaita Vedanta, or the path of nonduality, the practice of self-inquiry is a direct method to experience self-realization.” These steps are merely the beginning of a self-inquiry journey. For further instructions and inspiration, I recommend consulting the link to “Maha Yoga” in the previous section or reading other works from the Maharshi’s devotees. As Sri Ramana points out in a poetic verse of Upadesa Undiyar, “The Essence of Instruction”: “When one turns within and searches whence this I-thought arises, the “I” vanishes – and wisdom’s quest begins.” Other Self-Inquiry Questions and Methods Throughout the past century, followers of Ramana Maharshi have adapted his teachings and created variations to his “Who am I?” approach. For example, spiritual teacher Robert Adams offered alternative questions for self-inquiry, including: What is this “I” that exists at all times? Where does this “I” come from? Who am I that slept last night? Who am I that has just awakened? Who am I that exists now? Additionally, spiritual seekers often benefit from contemplation or meditation on self-inquiry using partners or groups, like the exercise I described in the introduction to this article. RELATED: What Goes Around Comes Around: Is Karma Real? What is Enlightenment In Buddhism? Feeling Lost in Life? Move On In 7 Steps According to Daniel Schmidt, founder of the Awaken the World Initiative, who facilitates self-inquiry dyads, holding oneself accountable to a witness creates “conditions of no escape for the ego structure and for the awakening of the realization of your true nature.” In these dyads, instead of asking partners a question, one person prompts another in a statement, “Tell me who you are.” Takeaway: What is Self-Inquiry? Self-inquiry is a powerful and straightforward technique for disidentifying with the typical moment-to-moment mental chatter of the Egoic mind. Ancient and modern-day spiritual teachers alike suggest that “Who am I?” is the ultimate question along the path to spiritual wisdom. With patience, perseverance, and sincerity, this simple method of introspection can guide us towards an all-pervading sense of peaceful, everlasting presence. Images: shutterstock/rdonar, Wikimedia Commons, shutterstock/JLco Julia Amaral happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Letting go | Happiness | Learning Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.Wed, 28 May 2025 11:14:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/how-to-let-go-of-resentment/Holding on to resentment and bitterness often feels like a way to punish our aggressor, but, in reality, doing so we only hurts ourselves. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović shares her seven-step plan to letting go of resentment and grudges and moving forward. I have been horribly wronged in my life, more than once. So have many of us, for that matter. As you will know, it stings, it aches, and it can make life almost unbearable at times. We harbour resentment and bitterness towards those that have let us down or hurt us and it creates a negative feeling. That is just how it goes. However, at each step of the way, we get to choose one one thing: how we react internally. It is our absolute right. Yet, how often do we exercise it? And how many times do we allow circumstances to move us like string puppets? This article speaks about bitterness for being mistreated. More precisely, about how to let go of resentment. Because holding a grudge is our choice — and so is the healthier one of letting it go. Why holding on to resentment is dangerous At one point in my life, I was being repeatedly exposed to hurtful behaviour by a person very close to me. I was also being convinced that it was my fault, and I had to stomach it. It lasted for years, and resentment built up. And, if I'm being completely honest, I have to say I chose to hold on to the umbrage. I was doing so because it was my way of stating: “Look what you are doing to me! You are destroying me! Won’t you stop?” Yet, as I learned, bitterness only poisons the person feeling it. It punishes no one but the one clutching it. It does not make the needed change. All it does is lock you inside of a vicious circle of obsessing over past wrongs you experienced. These are not merely anecdotal observations. Science backs my insights up. The definition of resentment and empirical evidence both speak about the dangers of not letting go of it. What is resentment? Resentment is a “feeling of bitterness, animosity, or hostility elicited by something or someone perceived as insulting or injurious,” according to the APA Dictionary of Psychology. The mere definition highlights one thing — this is not how you want to feel! Although understandable, the emotion itself is extremely unpleasant. But how to let go of resentment and not feel angry and bitter all the time? Let resentment go and feel peace shutterstock/NaruFoto Even though we often think we do not have a choice, in fact, we can always pick our emotional reactions. As the research clearly shows, when you develop your emotional intelligence, you can regulate your emotional reactions more wisely. Harms of holding a grudge Indeed, not understanding how to let go of resentment can damage both your physical and mental health. In my case, I developed two stress-related chronic conditions. At least half of the stress I experienced was caused by being caught up in my head with the injury and people causing it. Not to mention being unable to laugh, feel happy, grateful, or be productive. Ruminating about past hurts occupied my mind. As a result, I practically missed years of my life and functioned on autopilot. While I was living in the awfully unpleasant past, the real-time events went by unnoticed. Abundant research confirms the ills of not releasing resentment and bitterness. When you do not learn how to stop being resentful, you are exposing yourself to adverse physiological processes that can make you physically unwell. Indeed, according to extensive research, unforgiveness seems to be linked to higher risks of heart attack, high cholesterol, elevated blood pressure and intensified chronic pain. “When you do not learn how to let go of resentment, you are exposing yourself to adverse physiological processes that can make you physically unwell.” Furthermore, people who do not know how to let go of resentment are under greater levels of stress, as a longitudinal study on over 300 participants demonstrated. As you surely know, stress is linked to a wide array of psychosomatic conditions. It may trigger or exacerbate a range of physical illnesses. Finally, not being able to release resentment, according to research, can also make you vulnerable to emotional disturbances, such as anxiety and depression. So, how can you let go of resentment and heal from its negative consequences? How to let go of resentment When examining the ways to release resentment, we need to understand one thing first. There are effective — and more effective ways to forgive. Even though holding a grudge is unhealthy in any case, if you truly want to reap the benefits of forgiveness, it should come from your heart. In other words, you need to feel it, not just act by it. Shades of forgiveness Scientific findings reveal which kind of forgiveness is most beneficial. Yes, believe it or not, not all forgiveness is the same. In fact, there are two main forms of forgiveness, and they have different effects, according to one study: Decisional forgiveness is when you intentionally resist an unforgiving stance and respond differently towards the person who wronged you. Emotional forgiveness happens when you replace the negative unforgiving emotions with positive, other-oriented emotions. The same study revealed that emotional forgiveness is the form that leads to more direct health and well-being consequences. It involves psychophysiological changes responsible for the benefits of letting go of resentment. RELATED: How to Forgive Someone Such conclusions were confirmed in another study from 2016. The findings showed that when we ruminate about past transgressions against us and keep experiencing adverse emotions, we are most vulnerable to the perils of unforgiveness. In other words, when we do not reach emotional forgiveness and release anger and resentment, we open ourselves up to the risk of mental health problems. Stop Being Resentful: 7 Steps OK, so you are ready to relinquish the bitterness. But how to actually let go of resentment? From personal experiences and of those close to me, I know that parting from the position of the victim may be a challenge. The grudge often seems like the only path towards getting justice. However, remember that it is merely an illusion. Only releasing resentment will liberate you and honour your worth. Freedom and peace await you at the end of this path. Here are seven steps to take to help you on your way: 1. Remember The first step, unpleasant as it may be, will be to remember the transgressions. Relive the emotions and hark back to all the details. Reflect on how the hurt and the anger have affected you since. It is vital to bring to light what you want to let go. Otherwise, parts of it may stay hidden and keep poisoning you. 2. Summon witnesses to your hurt Remember what I said earlier about not knowing how to let go of resentment because it was my only way of showing the pain I was going through? Instead of doing so, speak about your wounds. Talk to a therapist or a friend. Break the silence. It will be easier to release the bitterness when others witness your hurt. Holding onto resentment can cause mental and physical illness 3. Honour your pain In an effort to escape pain, we may suppress it. Do not minimise the effects of the offence. Negating the damage will not help you heal nor forgive. Acknowledge the extent of the pain and the trauma you may have endured. You will grow from it – do not worry. 4. Explore perspectives Now that you have gotten in touch with the hurt in all of its nastiness, you can start changing things. First, see the bigger picture. As unwilling as you may be to do so, you need to understand and empathise with the other person. RELATED: Changing Perspective and Gaining Happiness Go back to the experiences that made them into who they are. That does not mean that everything is alright if the person has had a traumatic childhood. It merely helps you understand that they, somehow, believe that they were right. 5. Let go of expectations Do not expect the transgressor to apologise. Do not wait for them to change or suddenly grasp the consequences of their actions. They may experience an epiphany and fall to their knees begging for forgiveness (and yes, we all hope for that to happen). “Find it in you to let go of your resentment. Feel it. Let the hurt and the offence float down the river of life and wave it goodbye.” Still, your liberation from resentment ought not to depend on it. You were hurt by another. Do not depend on another to mend it. You are the one doing the healing. So, let go of your expectations of others and focus on yourself. 6. Forgive deeply Remember the part about emotional forgiveness? This is where it comes into play. Letting go of resentment merely because your religion, principles, circumstances or life philosophy requires you to will not be enough. You need to tap into the part of you that feels connected to all living beings. You will need to embrace the fact that life comes with some hurt. Find it in you to release resentment and bitterness. Feel it. Let the hurt and the offence float down the river of life and wave it goodbye. 7. Forgive yourself Now, there is one last step for you to make. After you have travelled the path above, you may discover that there is one more person you need to forgive. It is yourself. Research reveals that you might be heading for depression if you do not. Therefore, forgive yourself for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, for not seeing the signs of danger or for letting wrong people into your life. Takeaway: How to Let Go of Resentment Resentment is one of the most efficient ways to make your life miserable. Is it not sufficient that you were mistreated? Do you have to keep harming yourself long after the transgression is over? Releasing resentment does not equal condoning actions that were plain wrong. It does not mean that you accept being abused or insulted. In fact, what letting go of resentment does represent is embracing self-respect and self-love. To let go of resentment is to decide to take care of yourself and not expect others to do it for you. Letting go of resentment means you have become greater than the harm you experienced. • Main image: shutterstock/KieferPix happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Empathy | Communication skills Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.Mon, 26 May 2025 00:45:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/embracing-the-unknown/Many of us tend to shy away from the discomfort of uncertainty. However, as psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains, embracing the unknown and adapting to new situations often leads to personal growth and increased strength. The art of embracing the unknown should be a mandatory school subject. It is a skill most of us lack – which is only natural – and all of us necessitate. I am not an adventurist. It is probably not cool to admit that about yourself, but that is how it is. I have tried to avoid terrains that were out of my comfort zone for my whole life. Indeed, I am not the kind of person who will leave everything and go to Nepal to see how things will pan out. I do admire those people – but I am not one of them. However, no matter how fond of certainty I may be, life has got it in for me. Yes, it is unpredictable by definition. And always will be. Take the COVID-19 pandemic, for example. No one saw it coming. Many people had to make changes to how they work, socialise, live. It was a great unknown – and still is – but we have had to embrace the changes it has brought. Indeed, there will always be uncertainty in everybody’s life. So, how do we learn to accept and adapt to it? How can we embrace the unknown? Embracing the unknown and personality One of the most well-known, established, and used psychological tests, BIG-5, resides on an empirically confirmed assumption about five broad personality traits. One of those traits is openness to experience. This trait includes the following aspects: active imagination (fantasy) aesthetic sensitivity attentiveness to inner feelings preference for variety (adventurousness) intellectual curiosity challenging authority (psychological liberalism) People who score low on this scale are more conventional in their thinking and behaviour. They are usually closed to the unknown and new experiences. Such an individual prefers regular routines over new experiences. Open new doors and welcome the unknown Conversely, according to research, someone who has high openness to experience might have a broader range of interests. They could be more creative and knowledgeable because they are fine with uncertainty. In other words, such a person is not reluctant to jump right into new information and experience. Changing perspective to welcome the unknown Therefore, some people are simply more open to experiences. That is their personality trait. However, it only means embracing the unknown and the uncertainty of life comes naturally to them. It does not mean you cannot learn to shift your perspective and do the same. Let us explore several argument points that will help you shift your perspective from being afraid of uncertainty to embracing uncertainty. 1. Realise that everything is impermanent Obviously, nothing lasts for ever. But we secretly hope good things do. This is why we are so afraid of uncertainty. However, when you think about it, you will realise that you have never been 100 per cent certain about how things will unfold. Also, nothing ever stayed the same. All things pass. When you accept this thought, you might start feeling more confident about facing the unknown. 2. Letting go of attachment is beneficial When we cling to things and people, we suffer. It is one of the four noble truths in Buddhism. Attachment, albeit a natural human feeling, has a dark side to it. When you are attached to something, be it good, bad, or neutral, you become convinced you cannot go on without it. “Embrace the unknown. Uncertainty is everywhere, whether you like it or not. It is the path towards true joy and openness to life’s wonders.” When you learn to let go of past hurts, hopes or anxieties about the future, you can then go with the flow of life and enjoy it without fear. 3. Every new path and experience means growth You always learn when you try something new, regardless of how successful or not you might have been. And with learning comes growth. It was once believed that we were born with all the neurons we would ever have. Nonetheless, we now know that new neurons get formed during adulthood, too. The same goes for new neural pathways. If your counterargument is: “It might be painful”, remember all the instances in which you endured pain for the sake of growth. Start with teething as an infant, for example. You would not relinquish your teeth because it hurt a little, would you not? Embrace the unknown: every new path means growth 4. Surviving the unknown makes you stronger It may be a cliché, but think of the unknown and uncertainty as an opportunity to survive and become stronger because of it. RELATED: Following Your Bliss: 5 Steps to Get Started The Time is Now: How to Stop Worrying About the Future One Upside to the Feeling of Uncertainty Unpredictable situations will arise, that is certain. They all bear valuable life lessons, no matter how petty or profound they may be. When you overcome obstacles and swim back out to the surface after a storm, you find yourself tougher and wiser than before. 5. There is always one thing you can control: your reactions When you fear uncertainty, you fear the loss of control. However, know that you can always control one thing, no matter what happens to you. Your reactions are absolutely in your power. Whatever happens, you will decide how to respond. We may not be able to control much of what happens to us in life, but we can choose how to handle the circumstances. So, ultimately, you do have control over uncertainty because you command your thoughts and behaviours. 6. The unknown can make life exciting Embracing the unknown comes with a recognition of the mysteriousness of life. Even though your first response might be: “Yes, I want to know my future!” upon closer introspection, you might be surprised. “To embrace the unknown is to live the life as it was meant to be lived — being surprised by all its miracles.” Indeed, a recent study from the University of Granada confirmed that most people do not really want to know what lies ahead. In fact, only 1 per cent of people consistently said they would want to know their future. Furthermore, between 40-70 per cent of participants in the study said they would not even want to know about the positive events in their future. The numbers for negative events are even higher – 85-90 per cent would not want to find out ahead about adversities that await them. To embrace the unknown is to live the life as it was meant to be lived — being surprised by all its miracles. Embrace Uncertainty: 6 Ways So, how can we learn to embrace the unknown if it is not our second skin? How do we learn to accept uncertainty and even enjoy it? Here are some ideas on how to stretch your comfort zone little by little: Stop overthinking and overplanning Trust your ability to land on your feet, no matter what happens. The next time you have a decision to make, embrace the unknown and do not try to predict your distant future. Stick with the immediate facts and choices. Learn to live in the present moment Another Buddhistic wisdom we all would benefit from – living in the now. We cannot change the past. We cannot predict the future. While we are trying the latter, we are missing out on the only thing we do have – the present moment. Indulge in spur-of-the-moment experiences I am not propagating recklessness or risky/unhealthy behaviour. However, when things are safe, do allow yourself some impulsiveness. I am talking about an unplanned trip with your friends, for example. Even taking an unplanned route to work or anywhere else could help you practice embracing the unknown. Do not compare your past experiences with what is happening right now. If you do, you might start acting on the basis of what had happened sometime before, not what is going on right now. And you could fear the outcomes that once ensued – but you do not know what will happen this time. Switch fear for curiosity A 2021 study published in Current Psychology revealed that mindfulness truly contributes to meaning in life. However, this relationship is mediated by curiosity and openness to experience. In other words, when you decide to be curious about what happens next, you will learn to embrace the unknown and uncertainty and, at the same time, help other beneficial psychological processes to evolve freely. Exercise gratitude When you develop the habit of being grateful, you also learn to notice how every situation brings something to be thankful for. Such a skill will help you embrace the unknown because you know that every cloud has a silver lining. Takeaway: Embracing the Unknown Uncertainty will always be a part of life. This is a given. And, paradoxically, the more you try to prepare for the unpredictable, the more surprised you may become. I am not saying you should give up on acquiring information, planning or developing your skill-set. You should always strive to be the most resilient and resourceful version of yourself. However, if you see the unknown as the enemy, chances are, you will not be able to enjoy the variety of life. The unknown comes with both the good and the bad. If you only expect enjoyable experiences and avoid anything new for your fear of adversities, you might miss out on half of life. So, embrace the unknown. Uncertainty is everywhere, whether you like it or not. When you welcome it into your existence, you will be at peace. Embracing the unknown is the path towards true joy and openness to life’s wonders. • Images: shutterstock/everst, shutterstock/StunningArt happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Courage | Assertiveness Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.Sun, 25 May 2025 23:01:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/what-is-karma-how-does-it-work/The laws of karma say that everything we do in life – good or bad – has consequences: what goes around comes around. Ann Vrlak explores the meaning of karma in buddhism and hinduism and ponders the question: is karma real? Karma is an interesting notion, isn’t it? It’s actually an Eastern concept that’s become common in Western cultures. It’s understood to mean “what goes around comes around”, or we say someone “has good karma” if things always seem to go their way. The Eastern meaning of karma, that originated in Hinduism and Buddhism, has a deeper meaning and intent. So, what is karma and how does karma work? Here's an introduction to what karma is and isn’t, and how different religions define it. What Karma Means Though karma has various meanings depending on the religion, at its core it means “the law of cause and effect” – that the things we do have consequences for us. If you knowingly lie to someone, for example, it ripples out like a negative wave that sooner or later comes back to you. Or, if you show kindness to a stranger in trouble, something positive will return to you. RELATED: The Power of Kindness: the Ripple Effect of Being Nice Human Kindness: Why We Need it More Than Ever 7 Ways to Choose Kindness Every Day What karma is not is a punishment. It is simply a principle of life, religious traditions say, that will help followers lead a harmonious inner and outer life. Is karma real? That’s up to you to decide! Let's consider the religious and social value of believing it is. Different Religions See Karma a Bit Differently Let's look a bit more in depth at how two major Eastern religions – buddhism and hinduism – integrate karma into their teachings. 1. Hinduism What if your actions shaped not only your current life, but your next life as well? Hinduism takes a long view of human existence, that our lives are an ongoing cycle of life, death, and rebirth. So, harmful actions create what is called “karmic debt” – a burden that you carry into your next life. Religions that believe in karma say this explains why some people have life patterns that aren’t easily explained by their life circumstances. When they were born, the effects of their past negative actions came with them. Karma: what goes around, comes around But, the good news is, the opposite is true for a person who lives an honest, moral life. They do not carry a lot of karma into their next life to be “worked out.” Their time in the cycle of life is shorter than someone who carries a heavy karmic debt across many lives or “incarnations”. There are also different types of karma in Hinduism, and all are connected closely to the concept of dharma. You’ll see karmic concepts in Jainism, Sikhism, and some New Age philosophies, too. 2. Buddhism Like Hinduism, Buddhism frames karma simply as consequences of intentional action, not punishment. Buddhism teaches than intention is everything; that the quality of mind behind your actions determines the karmic effects. In part, this speaks to unintentional harms you cause that do not affect your karma, but knowingly acting in a way that harms others or even yourself creates karma in the form of mental and moral consequences. “Though karma has various meanings depending on the religion, at its core it means “the law of cause and effect” – what goes around comes around.” The Buddha left believers a comprehensive roadmap to follow. In the Eightfold Path and the Five Precepts, he clearly describes actions that create positive vs negative karma. Buddhism also shares the Hindu understanding that karma affects the cycle of rebirth. Someone with a dense karmic debt, Buddhists believe, will be reborn again and again until they clear their karma through moral living. And what if a person eventually achieves enlightenment? They experience nirvana and are freed from the karmic cycle. Dharma vs karma A related concept in both Buddhism and Hinduism is dharma. Dharma is each person’s ethical path through life, as defined by their chosen religion. It explains how karma works: it is the result of how well a person follows their path. Dharma in Hinduism is a form of social moral code that governs individual behaviour. It describes a life that values duty and religious observance. When you stray from your dharma, you create negative karma. Karma helps you lead a harmonious inner and outer life Buddhism, on the other hand, grounds dharma directly in the teachings of the Buddha. Specifically, dharma refers to the fundamental laws of nature that all beings are subject to. It is less concerned with the social definition of dharma and more with the need to live in harmony with natural law to create positive karma. In both religions, it is not a question of dharma vs karma, but dharma and karma. Together, these principles show followers how to fulfil their spiritual responsibility. How Does Karma Work? One of the best metaphors for karma is planting seeds. Karma doesn’t have an immediate result, but takes root and spreads throughout a person’s life or lifetimes. Picture a beautiful garden where you plant 100 tulip bulbs, rather than just one. And you keep the garden watered, pull the weeds and nourish it with nutrients that help it thrive. “One of the best metaphors for karma is planting seeds. Karma doesn’t have an immediate result, but takes root and spreads in a person’s life or lifetimes.” Positive karma is like that. Your acts, your intentions, your attention all help your good actions take root and grow. And you can imagine another garden that becomes overgrown with weeds through inattention or active harm. Karma is a complex, interwoven process where – sooner or later – you “reap what you sow.” Karma Symbols You may have seen a karma symbol without knowing it! The most common are the endless knot and the wheel of samsara. Karma symbols include the wheel of samsara (left) These symbols are used in religious texts and artwork as a reminder of the principles of karma. The elaborate karma symbol designs suggest the interconnectedness and cyclical nature of all life. As objects of contemplation, these symbols are believed to expand a person’s ability to grasp the complexity and scope of life. OK, but is Karma Real? Of course, there is no scientific way to prove that karma – or the cycle of rebirth that it fuels – exists. It is a core concept that these religions believe helps us to understand this larger view of our lives. Karma helps Hindus and Buddhists to use the law of karma to guide their behaviour toward other beings. Within psychology, karma is often seen as a common sense idea. If you treat others poorly, you may be treated poorly in return and vice versa. But, karma encompasses the idea of self-harm, too. When you harm others, you harm yourself because you have acted against social or universal principles. “There is no scientific way to prove that karma exists. Within psychology, karma is often seen as a common sense idea. If you treat others poorly, you may be treated poorly in return.” Whether karma is real or not, it is a deeply powerful idea that shapes the lives of millions of people. It puts individualism in a different light. Our personal actions and even our thoughts count. They affect us – and everyone around us – much more profoundly than we may think. Takeaway: What Goes Around Comes Around Another way to understand karma is as a moral or spiritual compass. Particularly in modern living, there are so many choices and decisions to make every day. How do you know what to do and where to go? Karma points the way to living according to your dharma. Whether karma is “real” or not, it encourages all of us to believe that our personal actions matter beyond the moment and beyond our own lives. It’s a guide to living with positive intention that is aligned with an expanded view of our humanity. ● Images: shutterstock/ADragan, shutterstock/mr_owlman happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Acceptance | Altruism | Conscious Living | Kindness Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.Wed, 21 May 2025 08:07:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/what-is-shamanism/Fri, 16 May 2025 06:59:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/meaning-of-nonduality-nondualism/Put simply, nonduality (or nondualism) is a way of being whereby you feel interconnectedness with everyone and everything around you. Rachel Markowitz explains the deeper meaning of nonduality, its origins within Hinduism and Buddhism, and ways you can practice it. Take a moment to consider how you interact with the world – not only your physical surroundings, but also how you see yourself and others. Do you envision yourself as an individual? Are you part of a whole? Can you imagine your life as something entirely beyond these concepts? As it turns out, it’s rare to see “self” as something other than a person; that is, as an individual who wanders through life, engages with others, and strives for the ideals of health, true connection, and a sense of purpose. However, at some point along the spiritual path, we tend to encounter profound questions about the nature of self, the universe, and reality. When contemplating these questions, it’s helpful to understand the meaning of nonduality – the direct experience of “not two.” In nondualism, the nature of Self is pure awareness or consciousness If you find this concept hard to grasp, pause and reflect for a moment on this enlightening quote from British-American writer and philosopher Alan Watts: “You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing.” To hopefully make the concept clearer, this article will provide an introduction to nondualism, explain nonduality vs. duality through ancient yet still-relevant teachings, and suggest methods for opening to nondual awareness. What is Nonduality? Nonduality comes from the Sanskrit word advaita, which translates to “not two.” Thus, nondualism conjures ideas like oneness, completeness, and infinity. However, nonduality is more than a concept or philosophy; it’s an experiential recognition, and because of this, it can’t be taught or captured within the limits of language. Accordingly, most teachings explain nondualism by what it is not: nonduality (advaita) is the absence of duality (dvaita). Therefore, to understand nonduality, it’s essential to first discuss duality. What is Duality? In simple terms, duality implies two opposing forces. In a dual existence, we consider aspects of life as good or bad, light or dark, positive or negative, and so on. Regardless of whether these forces are seen to negate or complement each other, they are two ends of a spectrum that are separate. “Nonduality comes from the Sanskrit word advaita, which translates to “not two.” Thus, nondualism conjures ideas like oneness, completeness, and infinity.” When we look at existential questions, duality often refers to the idea that we (humans) are separate from God (which we could also call existence, the universe, the divine, etc.) In dualism, I am a human, you are a different human, and there is a God apart from you and me. I am a subject perceiving objects, and I see the world through the unique eyes of a unique seer who is uniquely seeing. Nonduality vs Duality On the other hand, in a state of nondual awareness, there is no separation between an individual and God (existence, universe, etc.) In other words, nonduality implies that subject and object are of the same nature, and that there is no difference between the seer, the seeing, and what is seen. From a nondual perspective, pairs of opposites are perceived as manifestations of the absolute. Since this may feel like a stretch to the rational mind, it’s important to note that when we look at nonduality versus duality, nondualism isn’t anti-dualism. Nondualism is simply a way of existing that is not based in separation. However, through this nondual lens, we can still recognize opposing forces and see that, from a human perspective, duality exists. Nondual Teachings History has pointed towards nondual awareness as part of various philosophical and spiritual traditions throughout space and time. Although we can see examples of nonduality suggested in lineages of shamanism, Taoism, Sufism, and even Christianity, this state is most succinctly illustrated through the ancient Indian and Buddhist philosophies that have shaped contemporary nondual teachings. Nonduality is the human experience of oneness; a sense of connectedness and identity Advaita Vedanta According to Advaita Vedanta (nondualism as taught in the Vedas, the oldest texts of Hinduism), everything is Brahman, the absolute, and the true Self (or Atman) is not separate from Brahman. Put simply, the nature of Self is pure awareness or consciousness. The catch is that we only know this to be true when we experience life in nondual awareness. To illustrate this concept, Advaita teachings often use a metaphor involving a cinema to give an example of nonduality. When we watch the movie of our lives, we often think we are the main character. However, in reality, we are not limited to a character or to the one watching the film. Rather, we are the blank screen upon which everything is happening. And, as an observer, we can see that nothing on the screen can affect the screen itself. Nonduality in Buddhism Although Buddhism negates the idea of a true, inherently existing Self or Atman, the teachings of the Buddha are also nondual. In fact, in Buddhism, the belief in a separate self is known to be the source of all human suffering! “When we look at nonduality versus duality, nondualism isn’t anti-dualism. Nondualism is simply a way of existing that is not based in separation.” In Buddhism, nonduality is expressed as advaya, and concepts such as recognizing emptiness (sunyata), impermanence (annica), and no-self (anatta) all direct us towards the understanding of our “Buddha nature.” The Buddha taught that what we see as reality is merely an illusion that can be overcome by anyone through disciplined practice or, as commonly taught in Zen traditions, through a sudden experience that causes one to forget the limited self. RELATED: How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners How Did Buddhism Spread? Do Buddhists Believe in God? Practicing Nondualism The only way to completely “understand” nonduality is to directly recognize it. However, seekers of truth can intentionally make an effort to predispose themselves to practices and teachings that have the potential to open doors to nondual reality. So, if you’re curious about nonduality, consider these three suggestions: 1. Meditation Although all meditation techniques will eventually lead to the same place, the following two concentration methods can directly facilitate states of pure awareness: Contemplating the Self Examining the self, or “self-inquiry,” is asking yourself, “who am I?” The premise of this practice is that the ego, when directly targeted, can’t justify its existence. Thus, with repeated asking and searching, the Self is revealed. Contemplating Emptiness Buddhist techniques like analytical meditation and witnessing the emptiness of the mind help us grasp the nature of reality – the interdependent, transient essence of existence. 2. Exploring the Teachings As previously mentioned, nonduality is referenced through time-tested (and also timeless!) scriptures. These teachings hold energy and have the potential to transmit experience to those who read between (or beyond!) the lines. Here's a short list of Vedic and Buddhist teachings that point towards the true meaning of nonduality: The foundational texts of Advaita Vedanta: the Upanishads, the Brahma Sutras, and the Bhagavad Gita, along with hundreds of commentaries and texts by 8th-century scholar and teacher Adi Shankaracharya. Who Am I? by Sri Ramana Maharshi, a 20th-century sage with a large global following who spread interest in Advaita Vedanta through his teachings. I am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj, another self-realized sage who followed the path of Ramana Maharshi. The Heart Sutra, a Mahayana Buddhist text (translated here into modern-day language by Vietnamese Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh). The Great Way, a poem by the third Patriarch of Zen, illustrating nonduality vs. duality. 3. Repeating Nondual Affirmations Affirming or contemplating your true nature can also nudge your awareness into a space of nondualism. To practice, you can repeat one of the following affirmations or mantras, aloud or mentally: I Am Shivoham (literally, “I am Shiva”, which we can interpret as “I am consciousness.”) Tat Tvam Asi (One of the four Mahavakyas, or great truths from the Upanishads, that translates to “That Art Thou” or “You Are That,” in reference to our true essence) Takeaway: What is Nonduality? Seeing from a nondual perspective allows us to open to life’s mysteries. If this feels overwhelming, keep in mind that if you’re reading this, you’re already on your way; contemplating the meaning of nonduality and witnessing the mind, along with sincere introspection, can reveal to you the pure essence of “not two!” Let's finish with this quote from Indian Hindu sage Sri Ramana Maharshi: “In reality, there is neither dvaita or advaita, but that-which-is.” ● Images: shutterstock/agsandrew, shutterstock/AI Generator happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Letting go | Eckhart Tolle Written by Rachel Markowitz Rachel recently found herself over a decade deep in a worldwide wander guided by what she feels to be true. She’s been facilitating classes and workshops on yoga, meditation, self-exploration, and alternative ways of living since 2012, mostly in Latin America and Asia. These days, she spends most of her time looking at, walking around, or singing to a sacred mountain in southern India. Read more of her words at her to those who wonder blog.Wed, 14 May 2025 08:45:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/how-to-challenge-yourself/Challenging yourself leads to personal growth and fulfillment. Ed Gould asks you to step out of your comfort zone and learn how to challenge yourself in 8 different life areas. As a professional writer, I'm used to expressing myself but this often means staying within my comfort zone. Either I'll write about similar subjects I've written about before or stick to tried and tested formats. Recently, I challenged myself by performing some of the songs I've written over the years. I had not done anything close to this for over a decade! Although I did so primarily for fun, it was a significant challenge to see the project through once I had committed to the idea. What does this anecdote say about how to challenge yourself? What does my experience offer up with respect to the outcomes you might feel of setting a challenge for yourself? Why challenge yourself and are there pitfalls you should try to avoid? Read on to find out what my experience – and the experience of others – reveals about setting personal challenges. What Does Challenging Yourself Mean? When you challenge yourself, you step outside of your comfort zone. This alone means that setting any challenge for yourself is not going to be easy. Of course, how hard a challenge might be will depend on what it is and how tricky you – as an individual – find it to break out from your usual routine. Learning an instrument is a great way to challenge yourself In other words, some people will find it easier to go further with their personal challenges than others. There should be no judgement or self-recrimination based on the nature of the challenge. You can always set yourself a new challenge if the current one turns out to be a bit easier than expected, after all. What you need to know, however, is that when you challenge yourself, you're aiming for genuine personal growth. Your challenge should push you – but never to breaking point. A better life – one that is more fulfilled – is about growing. You want a challenge you can overcome which takes effort, so you'll be able to look back on your achievement with a sense of satisfaction. Setting challenges for yourself can become a healthy habit, too. The better you feel about meeting the challenges you set, the more likely it is you will want that feeling again and again. As such, your personal growth and sense of quiet satisfaction in yourself will likely grow. The Benefits of Challenging Yourself We've just covered one of the main benefits of setting a challenge for yourself: personal growth. Let's re-examine this from the flipside position to better explain it. Imagine for a moment a life in which you never set a challenge for yourself. You'd probably cope well with every situation you encounter in day to day life but what if a true challenge were to come along that you hadn't set for yourself? Circumstances out of our control affect us all the time, after all. How resilient might you be if the last time you'd overcome a challenge was during your development in school or even earlier? You might not have the skills to cope, let alone the resilience. “When you challenge yourself, you step outside of your comfort zone. This alone means that setting any challenge for yourself is not going to be easy.” In other words, by challenging yourself, you are training yourself to cope with anything that might come your way. You are proving to yourself you can do it – whatever it might be – and empowering yourself to deal with difficult situations. That's why any challenge you set yourself must take you out of your comfort zone – even if only a little bit – otherwise it wouldn't be a genuine challenge, would it? There is some neuroscience research which suggests that the sort of brain activity associated with challenging yourself is beneficial for mood and anxiety. To put that another way, the stress you self-impose with a challenge helps to train the brain in ways that make it better able to cope. Set goals and take.a leap with a new challenge With a self-imposed challenge, of course, you are in control. When you get the outcome you want after completing the challenge, the brain will often reward itself by stimulating the ventral striatum, the part of the cortex associated with goal-oriented reward. Quite apart from the biology of challenging yourself, there are psychological factors to take into account, ones which probably interact closely with aforementioned neurological ones. When you overcome a challenge, you prove to yourself that you can succeed. No matter what anybody else may say, you've set yourself a challenge, defined its parameters and worked towards overcoming it. No one can ever take that away from you even if they might want to. This is self-empowering in a way that can lift mood, change self-perception and even alter entire mindsets for the better. Often, behavioural change comes about through cognitive changes. As some studies have shown, achieving goals and challenges can alter the way we think by altering habits. In turn, this leads to positive behavioural outcomes that can make life more rewarding and appreciated. How to Challenge Yourself OK, so setting challenges is a good move for getting more out of life, but how to challenge yourself is a whole other question. The good news is that there are many ways to do so and there will be an approach suited to everyone, no matter what their current mental state. Let's talk about eight of the most common approaches of how to challenge yourself to get the right physiological and psychological outcomes. 1. Self-Reflection Challenges One of the best ways to challenge yourself if the very idea of setting a self-imposed challenge seems too much is to commit to focus on self-reflection or self-enquiry. Keeping a diary or committing to writing thoughts down in a journal every day can be a good first step on your journey. Looking back over entries can be revealing and offer a true sense of reward if you keep it up. 2. Physical Health Challenges From walks in the park to more demanding physical routines, setting a personal goal for your physical health has mental health benefits, too. Doing more physically is a kind of self-love, especially if you commit to something beyond your norm. 3.Skill Acquisition Challenges Trying to learn something new is always hard. That's why it is rewarding, too. Sign up for a language or art class, for example, and give something completely novel a go. You might find your new vocation and you'll probably meet some like-minded people along the way, which is great for boosting happiness levels. “Challenging yourself to improve your mental well-being is a smart move. Anything from increasing your focus on meditation to setting your mind to solving puzzles can be a satisfying challenge.” In fact, studies show that making learning a habit and cultivating more meaningful connections are two of the main keys to happier living, making this challenge-yourself tip an essential! 4. Self-Restraint Challenges Another of the best ways to challenge yourself is to cut out bad habits. Perhaps you know you gossip too much or offer opinions too readily when they're not welcome. Maybe you want to cut down on alcohol intake to feel the benefits of being teetotal, or restrain yourself in another way? If so, setting a personal challenge might be the best approach, especially if you want to gain a greater sense of equanimity in your life. 5. Mental Health Challenges Challenging yourself to improve your mental well-being is a smart move, too. Anything from increasing your focus on meditation to setting your mind to solving puzzles can be a satisfying challenge. Using your brain more helps with cognition and focus, rewarding you with increased sharpness and, yes, happiness, too. A daily mental challenge could be completing a crossword 6. Leadership Challenges If you are tired of always doing the same things, then it might be time to step up and lead. Perhaps you should challenge yourself by going for a promotion at work or maybe quit and start up your own enterprise, even? There again, maybe you can teach or coach informally, helping others with the knowledge and skills you have to share. 7.Self-Kindness Challenges For some, self-kindness is harder than for others. If you find it difficult to get on with yourself, then challenging yourself to be more self-forgiving might not come naturally. This is precisely why it would be a good self-challenge, though. 8. Supported Challenges You don't have to go it alone. Some of the best ways to challenge yourself involve support. You can set group challenges you overcome with others and still get a sense of personal achievement. Setting personal goals with a mentor or a life coach is equally valid as coming up with self-imposed ones. Takeaways: How to Successfully Challenge Yourself Given the numerous benefits of setting and achieving challenges, learning how to challenge yourself can be life-changing. Once a challenge has been overcome, you'll probably want to set more, having gained confidence in your ability to attain goals with greater mental resilience. Find something that suits your personality but be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone. The more you put in, the more you're likely to get out, after all. • Images: shutterstock/Midnight Studio TH, shutterstock/Okrasiuk, shutterstock/New Africa happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Positive psychology | Gratitude | Burnout Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.Fri, 09 May 2025 06:53:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/science-psychology/inner-turmoil-conflict/When we are stuck making a decision, inner turmoil or internal conflict often arises, leading to both mental and physical health issues. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains the meaning of inner turmoil, why it develops, and five steps you can take to move past it. For most of my adolescence and adulthood, I felt internal conflict about where to live. My mother is from one country, and my father was from another. When I was 14, they divorced. Suddenly, my family was scattered across Europe. So, my inner turmoil started. Where – or rather with whom – to live was a burning question during the period of my parent’s divorce. The same issue arose when I had to pick a high school, then college — and after graduation, when I was supposed to get a job. In fact, battling these internal conflicts and turmoil didn’t truly leave my side until recently. And I do not exclude the option of it becoming current again at some point in the future! Inner turmoil AKA internal conflict is everyone’s known (and rather unpleasant) companion. It does not matter if you are picking a shirt or a spouse. Internal conflicts are usually inseparable from the decision-making process. Therefore, we have little choice but to accept their presence. We can, however, understand inner turmoils and learn how to resolve the chaos they tend to cause. In this article, I'll explain: What inner turmoil is and what adversities may come with it What causes internal conflict How to move past it First, let us get to know inner turmoil and why it might be the wrong place for you to stay for too long. What is inner turmoil and why is it bad? Inner turmoil is not, strictly speaking, a phrase that psychologists would use. However, it describes the experience very well. As already mentioned, the term that is used in academic psychology is inner or internal conflict. Internal conflict is one of the prime notions of psychoanalysis. Sigmund Freud described conflicts as a consequence of the coexistence of two or more incompatible elements in a person’s psyche. These elements can be your needs, wants, beliefs, expectations, actions — conscious or unconscious. Simply put, two forces are clashing inside of you. Inner turmoil or internal conflicts cause mental and physical health issues It could be that there are two (or more) options that seem alluring. This is the “easiest” of the conflicts. For example, you could be courted by two people who both attract you. However, by virtue of the situation, when you pick one, you lose the other. Adding to the ordeal is a common effect — the option you dismissed will start looking more appealing. Double-avoidance conflict is a more difficult one because you must choose between two unfavourable options. For example, you might need to decide if you want to be unemployed and broke or accept a job you hate. RELATED: 7 Ways To Develop A Can-Do Attitude Quotes About Worrying: 6 Powerful Sayings To Free Your Mind Discover The 10 Keys To Happier Living Approach-avoidance conflict is something you experience when one option has qualities that both attract and repel you. Moving to a city that you do not like but that offers a better professional outlook is a good example. Or dating someone who you are physically attracted to but whose personality you are unsure of. The problem with this sort of inner turmoil is that the more you approach the option, the more the anxiety grows. On the other hand, the more you move away from it, the more you start to desire it. Why is internal conflict bad for you? As I said before – inner turmoils are not something we can avoid. They are a part of our lives. However, staying in one for too long can be bad for you. Why? When you are not at peace with yourself and do not understand your preferences, you will probably have a hard time getting along with others. Inner conflicts and ambivalent desires transfer to your close relationships. “Moving past inner turmoil and internal conflict means making a move. Whether it's a psychological change or an enacted decision, something has to happen.” Inner turmoil or internal conflict in which you are not clear about your role and identity, as this theoretical paper demonstrated, can make you underperform in negotiations in business. Any other sort of negotiations, it may be added, can be affected by your inability to decide which position and role you are taking. When dealing with internal conflicts and battles, you might find yourself unable to move forward. Research confirms that when you are ambivalent, regardless of how much power in a situation you may have, you will probably remain inert and avoid action. Furthermore, inner turmoil can lead to a range of emotional and physical disturbances. Irritable bowel syndrome, for example, has been found to be associated with internal conflicts. In particular, you may be at risk of the syndrome if you feel uneasy about being emotionally open and expressing your feelings. What causes inner turmoil and internal conflict? Remember my example from the beginning of the article? As I was born and spent most of my life in my father’s homeland, I felt more at home there. On the other hand, it was wiser to move to my mother’s homeland as it has incomparably better living standards. Not to mention wanting to be with my little sister, who was 4-years-old at that point. Understandably so, a long list of problems and issues (logistical and emotional) intertwined with the whole situation. In short, it was a hot mess. And, my inner turmoil was equally as intense. What caused it was too many elements of the situation that did not align with each other. Conflicting needs, beliefs, actions and expectations cause internal turmoil and inner battles. According to the classic psychoanalytic theory, our Ego has to serve three masters. It has to find a way to reconcile the external world’s demands, instinctual needs and desires (Id), and the ethical and moral principles we acquired growing up (Super-Ego). Needless to say, there is rarely harmony between these masters. Internal conflict: our ego has to serve three masters So, inner turmoil arises. You simultaneously want and do not want something. Your longings might clash with your principles. You know that one option is rational, but your heart desires another. Many elements interweave, and you end up in a state of internal chaos. It is an entirely natural position, a part of being a human. You could, for example, be in an utterly unhappy marriage. However, you were raised to consider a divorce as something outright wrong. Your need to feel psychologically well and your ethical beliefs oppose each other. You might long to do something creative in life and be an artist, but you feel pressured to meet your family’s hopes and find an office job. Your true desires and wish to please your loved ones’ expectations clash. Or, you have needs that do not match social norms in your culture, like sexual orientation. The authentic You is not in line with society’s standards, and an inner turmoil and conflict is born. “Once you have committed to leaving the state of turmoil, help yourself decide what you want and what you will do.” You might find yourself falling for your friend or a coworker. You yearn to make a move, but it poses a risk of losing them and destroying the existing relationship. Your feelings conflict with your desire to maintain the safety of what you have now. You may be torn between your roles of an individual, child, parent, friend, professional, spouse, and the desires and expectations that come with those roles. How to move past internal conflict If you're wondering how I resolved the conflict of where to live — I had to make a choice. I was compelled to do so when external circumstances called for it (the divorce, the schooling). But, the time came when I did not have to make a choice — I could merely succumb to inertia and avoid making any commitment. And I did for a long time. Nonetheless, I could not keep dodging a decision forever. Because moving past inner turmoil and internal conflict means making a move. Whether it is a psychological change or an enacted decision, something has to happen. Otherwise, you remain stuck within the whirlpool of conflicting needs and perspectives. So, here are 5 steps you need to take to start dealing with internal conflict: 1. Understand the turmoil Clinical practice shows that you need to explore the symptoms of the conflict — how is it manifested and in what situations do you notice it? What emotions and beliefs are keeping it alive? What rigidities in your mind are preventing you from leaving the conflict behind you? How do you usually try to cope with it? Knowing your most profound traits and desires (even the dark ones) is a must of authentic living and a prerequisite for resolving any inner conflict. 2. Make a decision As I've explained, one of the adversities of inner turmoils is a tendency for inertness they may throw you into. Give yourself enough time to contemplate — but do not procrastinate. Bring yourself to make a move. Fear of change, dread of making a wrong choice, feeling lost in life, or undefined anxiety are perfectly understandable reactions. However, putting a decision off is a kind of self-sabotage. So, promise yourself you are going to move ahead — and do so. Making a choice is essential to escape inner conflict 3. Facilitate the choice Once you have committed to leaving the state of turmoil, help yourself decide what you want and what you will do. Talk to friends, a psychotherapist or a coach, make pros and cons lists — whatever works. 4. Stop feeding the conflict When you have deciphered what has caused your inner turmoil and what you want to do about it, stop adding to the anxiety it causes. For example, if you want to get a divorce, stop evoking the thoughts of how “wrong” it is to do so that your parents or culture imposed on you. 5. Believe in yourself We often feel hindered by self-doubt. You might want to apply for your dream job but are reluctant because you believe you are not good enough. Give yourself plenty of self-love and practise self-compassion. You can do it. Even if you make a wrong choice, you are capable of mending the damage. Takeaway: see inner turmoil as a hint Internal conflicts are anything but a pleasant experience. A quote from Søren Kierkegaard’s ‘Either/Or’ illustrates the anguishing nature of human lives: “Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will also regret that; hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both.” Now, Kierkegaard was a philosopher, hence the hanging. Yet, if you translate the idea to any other choice, the message is clear. Whatever we choose and do, we will probably end regretting it and up believing that the other option was better. However, it does not mean that we are doomed to despair about missed opportunities and errors we made. Instead, approach your inner turmoil as a hint. Meaning that something is going on inside of you, and you need to figure it out. Embrace internal conflicts as a call from your unconscious mind to explore your soul. Use it as a beacon. Let it guide you towards knowing yourself — and making decisions that follow your authentic nature and needs. • Images: shutterstock/ArtFamily, shutterstock/Pixel4Images, shutterstock/ESB Professional happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Authenticity | Self-help | Coaching | Kindness Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.Tue, 06 May 2025 23:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/what-is-enlightenment-buddhism/Ann Vrlak explores the concepts of awakening and the path to becoming enlightened – seeing things as they truly are and free of suffering. So, what is enlightenment in Buddhism and is it possible to achieve it? Buddhists use the word “enlightenment” to refer to the goal of their philosophy and practice. But what is enlightenment? And is it something people still believe is possible to achieve today? Enlightenment has a definite meaning. For Buddhists, it describes a state of freedom different from the unhappiness that many people experience – that all of us experience to some degree, the Buddhists would say! In this article, we’ll dive into this question and the Buddhist perspective on how to achieve enlightenment. And we’ll take a brief look at how and why the Buddha’s own path continues to inspire followers today. What Is Enlightenment In Buddhism? The common impression of enlightenment is a kind of rare religious state that very few people can attain or even imagine. But, the root of the word enlightenment is “bodhi”, which means to “awaken, notice or see clearly.” Enlightenment in Buddhism literally means a state where you see all of reality as it is – ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Opening up to enlightenment in Buddhism As you might guess, this means Buddhism is based on the belief that we do NOT usually see things clearly. Our own past experience and beliefs, says the Buddha, create filters that make it difficult for us to see things as they actually are. It All Began with the Buddha The Buddha based his teachings on his own life as an Indian prince. Everything he thought he knew radically changed when he saw life outside his privileged home. He saw sickness, old age and death – all things his family had protected him from. He became committed to understanding the dilemma of human suffering. After a few years of wandering and seeking, he vowed to sit in one spot until he gained that understanding. He wanted to experience enlightenment first hand. “Enlightenment in Buddhism literally means a state where you see all of reality as it is – ourselves, other people, and the world around us.” For 40 days, he sat under a tree, facing every possible difficulty and temptation. In Buddhist texts, Mara the symbol of illusion, threw all her weapons at him, from doubt, to desire, to fear. Can you imagine what he might have felt and thought, sitting alone for 40 days? In the Buddhist descriptions of his enlightenment, Mara’s weapons became flowers when they touched him. He became the Buddha – the “awakened one.” And he created a clear path for others to follow, regardless of their culture or social status. Is Awakening the Same as Enlightenment? Sometimes the words “awakening” and “enlightenment” are used interchangeably. It’s true they both refer to this kind of seeing through illusion to the reality of life, with one important difference. Awakening is a temporary glimpse. Enlightenment is a lasting transformation. Anyone, whether or not they consider themselves Buddhist, can have an awakening. This experience can develop after working through a spiritual practice or it can be spontaneous. How to achieve enlightenment? Self-examination and pratice One day, you see the ocean drive you take every morning as the most moving, beautiful thing. Or, in a familiar disagreement with your partner, their point of view is suddenly obvious and you see a new way to connect. Enlightenment is also seen as escape from the cycle of death and rebirth that Buddhists believe people pass through, until they are free of suffering. When you become enlightened, you are free in your lifetime. What is Enlightenment Like? You have probably heard the term nirvana. It has a rich meaning used to describe the state of enlightenment. It refers to an absence of some things and a presence of others. What Enlightenment Isn’t Nirvana or enlightenment is a state without suffering and without concepts. It means living day to day without anxiety, sadness, fear, greed or jealousy. It does not mean those feelings would never come up for you, but you don’t become stuck in them or even believe them. You understand that they come and go – they are impermanent. RELATED: Do Buddhists Believe in God? How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners How Did Buddhism Spread? Enlightenment also doesn’t mean being indifferent to the suffering of others. Nirvana is a state of deep compassion and the desire to help everyone on the path. What Enlightenment Is The word nirvana means “to blow out,” like you would blow out a candle. Nirvana puts out the flame of suffering, so the peace of life shines through. “Enlightenment is seen as escape from the cycle of death and rebirth that Buddhists believe people pass through, until they are free of suffering. When you become enlightened, you are free in your lifetime.” The foundation of nirvana is a still, spacious mind that allows everything you experience to flow through. A person who is enlightened feels a sense of kinship with all beings, recognizing the same “reality” we all share. How to Achieve Enlightenment Buddha believed that enlightenment in this life, not an afterlife, was a real possibility for everyone who was willing to examine themselves and follow his teachings. In Buddhism, succeeding on the path depends on three core practices: Ethical conduct If our philosophical or spiritual beliefs are not mirrored in our actions, they lack power. Buddhism offers clear guidelines to live with honesty, kindness and an attitude of non-harming toward all things. Wisdom and insight This is both a goal of the path and something we can practice along the way. Wisdom comes through seeing the impermanence at the centre of experience – thoughts, feelings and situations all come and go. Meditation Buddhism regards meditation as the ultimate mind training. Because our minds are so distractible, meditation is the way to develop the stable mind needed to see reality clearly, without fear or distortion. Enlightened buddhist Takeaway: What is Enlightenment in Buddhism? The ideas of suffering and enlightenment are not in any way about blame. In fact, they are deeply grounded in compassion. They say, “This is the way all of us live sometimes! There’s nothing wrong with you, but there is a way to be at peace.” Still, is enlightenment relevant to modern life? You might reflect on questions like these to answer this question: If you exchange the word “suffering” for loneliness, worry, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do you think you “suffer”? Do you think your words, actions and belief can influence how you experience your life – for better or for worse? Have you had moments when you suddenly stepped outside your usual way of seeing or being, and saw things in a totally new way? Enlightenment may seem like an impossible idea or goal. However, even brief moments of awakening can transform your mind. When that happens, the journey towards enlightenment itself becomes an awakening. • Images: shutterstock/Quality Stock Arts, shutterstock/KieferPix happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Acceptance | Altruism | Gratitude Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.Mon, 05 May 2025 08:30:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/science-psychology/dream-therapy-analysis/Dreams act as a window to understanding the subconscious mind. Sonia Vadlamani explores whether dream therapy can be the key to greater self-awareness and better mental health. Perhaps one of the most intriguing areas of neuroscience and psychology, dreaming is a phenomenon where the brain creates vivid conscious experiences, even when disconnected from the external environment. Research suggests that dreaming is closely linked to sleep and memory consolidation – our dreams may largely be the fragments of the brain processing and storing away information from the waking day. This also indicates that the conscious experiences in our sleep are related to the underlying brain activity. Everyone dreams, yet many of us struggle to recall what we dreamt about. Neuroscientists estimate that dreams typically last between 5 and 20 minutes, yet we tend to forget about 95% of our dreams shortly after we wake up. Still, dreams can leave a strong emotional imprint – for instance, an unsettling dream can affect our mood and decision-making ability throughout the day. What is dream therapy? For over a century, therapists have considered dream interpretation a crucial part of psychotherapy, particularly for understanding the workings of the subconscious mind. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung – the forerunners of modern psychology – both offered their distinct perspectives on dream therapy. In his seminal work The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud suggested that dreams are a window to the “unconscious” mind. He also proposed that dreams are often a symbolic expression of one’s repressed desires and unresolved conflicts, often rooted in psychosexual development and childhood experiences. Unlock the subconscious mind through dream therapy While Jung challenged his colleague Freud’s ideas, he credited dreams with having a more integrative purpose. According to him, dreaming helps resolve one’s emotional and mental issues, thus revealing hidden facets of their psyche, guiding them toward deeper self-awareness and greater personal growth. Today, many therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. While Freudian and Jungian approaches remain relevant, modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations. Dream journaling is another recommended technique used to track recurring themes, reveal the underlying issues, and support one’s therapy progress. Overall, dream therapy continues to be an effective tool to enhance self-awareness, boost mental and emotional health, and improve well-being. Dream therapists: getting help with dreams The role of a dream therapist, as the name suggests, is to help you uncover more profound meaning in your dreams. For example, if you’ve been experiencing nightmares or recurring dreams that often leave you feeling uneasy or anxious during your waking day, a qualified dream therapist can offer valuable insight. Using your descriptions of your most persistent or significant dreams, a dream therapist can help analyze and interpret how your brain processes your emotions and circumstances, thus guiding you toward better self-understanding. “Therapists continue to incorporate dream therapy in psychotherapy. Modern techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) regard dreams as a reflection of the dreamer’s current perceptions, feelings, and real-life situations.” Furthermore, dream analysis isn’t as uncommon a form of therapy as one might think. In fact, a survey of 129 therapists revealed that a staggering 92% included dream analysis therapy at least occasionally in their practice, noting that working with dreams allowed for an exploratory approach rather than action-driven one. That’s where a dream therapist can play a key role – by helping you understand your dreams, they offer an insightful approach into your thoughts, perceptions, emotions, and subconscious patterns. Dream therapy can help expand your self-awareness and bridge the gap between your perception and waking reality. In so doing, comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives and opportunities for your personal growth. Lessons from dream therapy While, of course, not all dreams are the same, here are some themes commonly addressed by dream analysts: 1. Dreams rooted in symbolism Although not all dreams follow the same theme or are equally easy to recall, over time you may begin to notice recurring symbols or events in your dreams. While the meaning of these symbols or themes may not be evident immediately, expert dream analysts suggest that these patterns often reflect your mind’s effort to process unresolved emotions or real-life concerns you may be grappling with. MORE LIKE THIS: Visualization Meditation: How to Practise It 8 Manifestation Techniques: Understanding the Law of Attraction What is Shadow Work: 5 Ways to Get Started Researchers have also identified some common themes many people experience while dreaming. For instance, falling endlessly can signify loss of control over a real-life scenario, while being smothered may symbolize fear or uncertainty about a person or situation in your waking life. Frequent dreams of anger, rage, or lashing out may reflect pent-up frustration or stress you’re carrying throughout the day. 2. Dreams reflecting current emotions/situations Dream therapists often find that a client’s dreams are, in fact, a reflection of their mental and emotional state during waking hours. This is especially true for recurring dreams. For instance, if you’re faced with an impending deadline coming up for an important project, your dreams may feature feelings of fear, uncertainty, or cluelessness, mirroring the apprehension you’re experiencing in real life. Dream analysis therapy can open up new perspectives Additionally, researchers also emphasize that dreaming plays a crucial role in helping the brain process and organize the information from the day. The evidence indicates that our dreams might offer a realistic glimpse into our mental and emotional well-being. With the guidance of a qualified dream therapist, it’s possible to use these insights to identify and resolve the underlying issues in our waking lives. 3. Stress or mental health conditions as indicators for nightmares Recurring dreams and frequent nightmares often indicate unresolved stress or fear stemming from a traumatic past. Research suggests that dreams can simulate adverse situations, giving the mind a chance to explore alternate responses to resolve the same. In fact, studies also suggest that dreaming allows us to confront frightening situations that we tend to avoid in waking hours. “Comprehending what your dreams are telling you through dream analysis therapy can open up new opportunities for your personal growth.” Consulting a licensed dream therapist can offer useful insight into these recurring nightmares, helping you process your trauma and devise healthier ways to cope. Working with a dream therapist In essence, dreams offer a glimpse into one’s psyche and biology, and dream analysis therapy serves as a powerful tool to understand and explore this mind-body connection. While you may be able to interpret the basic themes in some of your dreams on your own, accurate dream analysis requires professional expertise. Working with a dream therapist involves in-depth discussions about your recurring dreams to gain deeper insight into your thought patterns, emotions, and perception of the world. A licensed dream analyst can help you understand your inner world and, in turn, suggest effective coping strategies and behavioral shifts that may be difficult for you to discover on your own. Takeaway: dream analysis therapy Dream analysis is by no means a novel concept in the field of psychotherapy. Indeed, pioneers like Freud and Jung recognized dreams and their study as a powerful tool for exploring the subconscious mind. Working with a dream therapist can help you access the inner realm of the mind, which is a vessel for your memories, aspirations, and thoughts beyond your conscious awareness. ● Images: shutterstock/santoelia, shutterstock/Marish, happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Mental health | Anger management | Abuse Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.Fri, 02 May 2025 06:33:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/science-psychology/finding-happiness/Many of us are trying to find greater happiness in our lives. Learn how to boost your daily joy and well-being with these 11 science-backed tips from Calvin Holbrook. In today's modern and busy world, finding happiness can seem challenging. For the majority of us, our lives are more stressful than ever and we have less time to relax and enjoy life. The recent shift in mainstream media becoming increasingly negative only helps to fuel our anxiety, leading to greater misery and unhappiness. Happiness is a state we all want to live in, but is it even realistically possible to be upbeat and content the whole time? And what exactly is happiness? Would you consider it a way of life, a certain mood, or a state of mind? It's clear happiness levels fluctuate, but is there a way to increase or regulate them? Or is happiness a choice? In fact, as most of us have probably realized by now, there’s no magic way to stay joyful all the time. However, there is some science behind the nature of happiness. Furthermore, once we understand this, we can develop our skills to find happiness and remain joyful for longer periods consistently. So, follow these 11 science-backed ways to increase your levels of joy and you should be able to see a positive difference in your daily well-being and discover deeper happiness more easily. How to find happiness: 11 science-backed tips From staying social to practising gratitude: make these 11 changes to your life and start finding more happiness. 1. Stay social and build quality relationships Science is clear on out first tip on how to find happiness: you can improve well-being through developing quality relationships. We humans are a social species and need regular contact. In fact, loneliness is proven to decrease levels of happiness and recent studies show it can even be as harmful to mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. How to find happiness within yourself? Through others But if you're searching for happiness, don’t start adding random friend requests to people on Insta just yet. Simply having many different acquaintances doesn’t lead to a boost in happiness levels – research shows that it’s the quality of our relationships that's key to boosting our well-being. In a landmark 75-year, multigenerational study, Robert Waldinger measured happiness levels in people from Boston’s poorest neighbourhoods and found that the most joyful were those with high-quality social connections. Furthermore, lonely people were less happy and, significantly, had poorer health. RELATED: How to Make New Friends As An Adult The 6 Qualities of True Friendship How to Be a Better Friend: 9 Ideas So, make sure to nurture more meaningful relationships with the people you already love. And, if you're feeling alone or disconnected from your current friendship group, finding your tribe – people with whom you are likely to get on best with – is a surefire way to finding more happiness. 2. Force a smile Buddhist Thích Nhất Hạnh once wrote: “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”’ Indeed, studies have shown that smiling and other external expressions work as a continual feedback loop, helping to reinforce our internal emotions. “If you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life.” Psychological scientists from the University of Kansas conducted a study in which they assessed the impact of smiling on one’s physical and mental state. They came to the conclusion that making yourself smile can help lower your heart rate during stressful times. So, smiling even when we feel down can actually makes us feel happier. Furthermore, try smiling at strangers, too: studies also show that happiness is contagious, so you may just get a friendly grin back that lifts you up. This is an easy practical tip which can help you in finding happiness on a daily basis. 3. Find your 'flow' It sounds simple, but take time to think about what you really love doing in life and make an effort to do more of it. Go for simple things you can fit into your schedule on a daily or weekly basis. Maybe it’s being in nature. Perhaps it’s reading, forest bathing, visiting art galleries, cooking a delicious meal, or just dancing around the living room. Whatever your daily happy buzz, make time for it in your life and it will help you in discovering greater happiness. Maybe you can find your flow on the river? Better still, if you can find an activity where your mind is fully immersed in a feeling of focus, involvement and enjoyment, you've probably found your flow. This blissful state – where you're 100% 'in the zone' – sparks true moments of joy, calm and creativity, as well as helping you find happiness by forgetting any current worries. 4. Think positively Some people seem to live by the ‘glass half full’ and ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ anecdotes, and for good reason. In fact, research has shown that positive thinking can assist in stress management as well as playing an important role in your overall well-being and health. A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that positive thinking helps in combating feelings of low self-esteem, improves physical health, as well as helps brighten your general outlook on life. “Science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier.” Here's a simple tip: every time you have a negative thought, try and replace it with a positive one. It's sounds easier said than done, but this practice can help to retrain your usual thought patterns to bring more positive thoughts into your life. Likewise, changing your perspective on your current situation can help in discovering happiness too. If you’ve made a mistake – however big – focus on your past achievements instead, visualizing your successes. Learn more about how to stop ruminating on past mistakes and start living with hope and appreciation of the present moment. 5. Develop a more meaningful life Meaningfulness is a major happy factor that you can extend into all areas of your life. Whether it's through gardening, volunteering, or becoming politically active, meaningful activities have been shown to boost people's happiness while reducing stress levels at the same time. Add meaning to your life by helping others in need What's more, developing meaning through helping others has been shown to be particularly beneficial. A study from 2017 showed that people who offer care and help to others then become better equipped to handle their own problems. Moreover, the researched showed that participants who engaged more by helping others also showed greater decreases in levels of depression. So, if you're on a quest for how to find happiness within yourself, start by thinking of others first, and begin to lead a more meaningful life. 6. Practise gratitude Our next tip on how to find happiness is to show gratitude. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is proven to make you feel happier and more humble. We often focus on what we don't have, but, instead, we should be grateful for what we already do have: a home, food on the table, clothing, and access to water/electricity. Many millions of people in the world don’t have these things (and, interestingly, many of them are still happy!). RELATED: 5 Benefits of Gratitude Practice 23 Gratitude Affirmations For Attracting Happiness Yoga for Happiness: Gratitude Yoga Moreover, science shows that writing a daily or weekly gratitude journal can make finding happiness easier. The Journal of Happiness Studies published a study that used gratitude letters to test how being grateful can affect our levels of happiness. The researchers concluded that: “Participants included 219 men and women who wrote three letters of gratitude over a three-week period. Results indicated that writing letters of gratitude increased participants' happiness and life satisfaction while decreasing depressive symptoms.” How to find happiness: gratitude journals helps you appreciate life 7. Stop comparing yourself to others In our social media savvy world, flaunting your travels, relationships and purchases on Insta is all too common. However, comparing yourself to other people only leads to unhappiness. Indeed, data from a 2010 Europe-wide survey of 19,000 people showed that those who compared their incomes to others were less happy with what they had. Furthermore, while other people’s lives may appear 'perfect’, there’s always a hidden story we’re unaware of. We usually only share our best moments on social media, rather than our fears and anxieties. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on achieving your own dreams by goal setting. If needed, change your social media habits and/or delete accounts. 8. Exercise daily If you're wondering how to find happiness, exercising is proven to boost levels of happiness. In fact, exercise has such a profound effect on well-being that it’s an effective strategy for tackling depression. In a study cited in The Happiness Advantage – a book by Shawn Achor – three groups of patients treated their depression with medication, exercise, or a combination of both. All three groups experienced similar improvements in their happiness levels in early days, but the later follow-up assessments proved very different. “Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you in finding happiness. Try meditating in the morning, shortly after waking.” Six months later the groups were tested to assess their relapse rate. Of those that had taken the medication alone, 38 per cent had slipped back into depression. Those in the combination group did a little better, with a 31 per cent relapse rate. But with the exercise group, the relapse rate was just nine per cent, suggesting it really did make a difference to finding happiness. So, make sure you fit some exercise into your daily routine. If you don't enjoy going to the gym, try mindful running or wild swimming to reconnect with nature. Group sea swimming is a great way to boost happiness levels 9. Get plenty of sleep If you don’t rest well, you won’t be able to function at your best. Regular sleep deprivation breaks down productivity, alertness and mood. Aim for between seven and nine hours kip a night and this will help keep your happiness levels up. A 2017 study from the Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders at Brigham and Women's Hospital, and MIT Media Lab Affective Computing Group showed that keeping regular sleep patterns contributes to the happiness and well-being of college students. The study looked at 204 students over one month. The results show that higher sleep regularity was significantly related to higher morning and evening happiness, healthiness and calmness during the week. “Irregular sleep-wake schedules are common in our modern society," said lead author Akane Sano, PhD. “Our results indicate the importance of sleep regularity, in addition to sleep duration, and that regular sleep is associated with improved well-being.” Struggling to get a decent night's rest? Follow our 14 science-backed sleep hacks or try a deep sleep meditation. 10. Practise meditation Starting your day with just five to ten minutes of meditation will help you to find deeper happiness. Try meditating in the morning shortly after waking: the immediate heightened inner clarity and focus it will give you will set you up for the rest of the day. RELATED: 10 Types of Meditation: Which Style is Best For You? Outdoor Meditation: How to Meditate in Nature Does Meditation Really Work? Here's What Science Says In fact, there are many studies that have shown that meditation can boost happiness levels by reducing stress hormones, shrinking the part of the brain that controls anxiety, and by stopping rumination, amongst other things. And, according to Psychology Today, meditation is the strongest mental practice that has the power to reset your happiness set point, thus turning you into a more joyful person and literally rewiring major areas in your brain. 11. Go outside more often While we can’t control the weather, spending time outside is essential for our well-being. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends spending time in the fresh air to improve your happiness. “Making time to go outside on a nice day also delivers a huge advantage,” he says. “One study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory.” Find your flow: do what you love and find deeper happiness Meanwhile, a study from the University of Sussex corroborated the idea that being outdoors made people happier: “Being outdoors, near the sea, on a warm, sunny weekend afternoon is the perfect spot for most. In fact, participants were found to be substantially happier outdoors in all natural environments than they were in urban environments.” So, whatever the weather, make sure you get outside of your four walls to boost your well-being. The takeaway: how to find happiness Finally, one last thing: science also suggests that some people are simply ‘born happier’. In The How of Happiness, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that only around 40 per cent of our happiness is under our control (recent life events and biological set points predetermine the other 60 per cent). So, if accurate, this research means only about half of happiness levels can be controlled at any given moment. If you're searching for how to find happiness within yourself, then incorporate as many of our 11 ideas into your daily life – you should be able to increase your happiness levels over a period of time. Seeking out a positive state of mind, regular exercose, and enhancing quality relationships all help: but these habits require consistent work to be successful and help you in finding happiness. In the meantime, if life gives you lemons, choose to make a tasty lemonade! ● Images: shutterstock/Zoran Zeremski, shutterstock/G-Stock Studio, shutterstock/Ground Picture, shutterstock/Oksana Klymenko, shutterstock/jax10289 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up free to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine ■ share and support in our happiness forum Authenticity | Motivation | Success Written by Calvin Holbrook Calvin edits the happiness magazine, makes artwork and loves swimming, yoga, dancing to house/techno, and all things vintage!Tue, 29 Apr 2025 03:18:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/how-to-find-yourself-again/Feeling off-track in life can make us unhappy and unfulfilled, but we should take it as an opportunity for self-discovery. Dee Marques explains how you can help to find yourself and your true purpose again through 10 steps, from journal prompts to embracing solitude. There are moments in life when we feel lost and unsure of who we are or where we're heading. Perhaps it's following a significant life change, such as the loss of a loved one, a change in your professional life, or the disintegration of a meaningful relationship. If you’ve been there, you know that these seasons in life can be tough and uncomfortable – and you’re not alone. Feeling lost isn't uncommon. In the UK, nearly 90% of Brits aged between 16 and 29 say they lack meaning and direction in their lives. Similarly, in the US, a study by Harvard found that nearly 60% of young adults had felt a “void in their lives” within the last 30 days. But built into this lack of clarity and direction there’s also an invitation to go on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. If you’re wondering how to find happiness from within or how to go about finding yourself again, you’re in the right place. Let's look at what finding yourself truly means, the benefits of starting off in this journey, and 10 suggestions on how to find yourself – including some journal prompts for self discovery. Start self-discovery and find your path to success What does it mean to really 'find yourself'? Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like. Also, this journey can be continuous. After a period of soul-searching, we can get some insights into who we are and what our next step is, but these revelations won't necessarily be valid for the rest of our lives. As we age and face new experiences, our perspectives evolve, making self-discovery an ongoing process. “Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.” Indeed, the self-discovery journey isn't about reaching a final destination but about embracing the process of becoming. It's about understanding who you are, which are your true values, the passions that drive you forward, your strengths, and the unique combination of accumulated experiences that make you who you are. Finding yourself means recognising that change is constant and that self-awareness helps you navigate the ups and downs in life with clarity and purpose. Benefits of finding yourself Sometimes, we may be tempted to postpone the self-discovery journey. Perhaps at a subconscious level, we know that truly finding ourselves is going to require radical honesty. But if you push past the initial resistance, finding yourself can be transformative and liberating. The commitment to cultivating self-awareness offers many rewards, including: A better sense of direction Our thoughts and emotions impact our choices and behaviours, so increased self-awareness can help us make decisions and develop habits that get us closer to where we want to be in life. Improved mental health Studies show that Self-awareness influences our levels of emotional regulation and emotional intelligence, so we become better at monitoring our emotional reactions and modulating them so they don’t hijack our mental well-being. In other words, we’re more in control of our internal states. High-quality relationships A UK study found that self-awareness was closely linked to improved social interactions. The reason? Probably because through self-discovery, we learn to develop healthy boundaries, as well as compassion and acceptance for ourselves and others. Increased resilience As we move through self-discovery journey, we become more aware of our strengths and we learn new coping tools. This is helpful when things are tough, as we’re better equipped to move forward with ease. Greater life satisfaction Knowing that you’re living in alignment with your values and goals is one of the most rewarding experiences. Authentic living is the antidote to that existential void that so many people experience. How to find yourself So, if you're feeling stuck in life, here are 10 steps you can take to find clarity about who you really are and what you want your life to mean. But remember; our goals and visions constantly change, so be prepared to repeat these steps at various stages of your life journey. 1. Practice self-reflection Set aside time regularly to reflect on your experiences, emotions, and reactions. Journaling can be a powerful tool, allowing you to track patterns and gain insights into your inner world. Finding yourself is made easier with journal prompts for self discovery 2. Explore your energy sources Make a list of the actions and interactions that fill your physical and emotional energy deposit. Then, make a list of the things that drain your energy. This helps you make choices aligned with your passions and create sustainable habits – protecting your energy is essential to your well-being. 3. Reconnect with your hobbies Hobbies aren’t just things we do to fill time – they can help express your true self better and reveal aspects of yourself that may have been dormant. Consider trying a new activity every month to discover what resonates with you, or revisit anything you once used to loved but stopped doing. 4. Practice mindfulness Through mindfulness, you become more attuned to your thoughts and feelings, which helps cultivate a stronger sense of ownership and presence throughout your life. “Finding yourself is a journey of self-discovery, but it’s not like the typical journey where you go from A to B in a linear way. When it comes to inner work, we don’t always know what the destination is or what it will look like.” Incorporate as many as our mindfulness tips for staying engaged into your daily routine, from something as simple as mindful showering to something that require a bit more effort and thought on your behalf, such as mindful appreciation. 5. Reflect on your values Identifying your core values shows you what matters most to you and is essential to ensure your actions and decisions are a reflection of your true identity. This exercise is a personal favourite on how to find yourself through your values. 6. Archetype work Archetypes are universal characters (like the Hero, the Rebel, or the Caregiver) that represent parts of our psyche. Exploring which ones resonate with you through journaling, creative writing, or the PMAI assessment can help you understand your deeper drives in a powerful and symbolic way. MORE LIKE THIS: 'Why Do I Hate My Life?' 10 Ways To Start Loving It Again Discover the 10 Keys To Happier Living How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Techniques That Work 7. Dare to be uncomfortable Finding yourself isn’t just about theoretical exploration – it’s important to take aligned action, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. New experiences challenge you, offer fresh perspectives, and can lead to personal growth. 8. Embrace solitude Finding yourself can only happen when you make time and space for it, away from digital distractions and external influences. Moments of solitude are perfect to tune into your thoughts and feelings with greater clarity. How to find yourself again? Solitude can help you clarify feelings 9. Set personal goals Create a weekly or monthly action plan with specific goals that matter to you. For example, you could choose to experiment with new ways of practising a character strength, or ensure that every choice you make in the next 7 days reflects one of your core values. 10. Seek support Finding yourself doesn’t have to be a lonely journey. Mentors, coaches, and therapists can guide and support you with different tools and frameworks that can broaden your self-discovery journey. Journal prompts for self discovery To get you started in this journey, here are some self discovery questions that can help uncover more about your true self. Ask yourself them and keep a note of the answers in a journal and reflect on them. • If fear weren’t a factor, what choice would I make today? • What patterns keep repeating in my life — and what might they be trying to teach me? • When do I feel most alive and engaged? • What things I couldn’t live without? • What are my greatest strengths and how do I use them? • What fears are holding me back from pursuing my passions? • Who inspires me and why? • What does success look like to me? • What’s my biggest learning experience in life so far? • What part of myself have I silenced to fit in? • What legacy do I want to leave behind? Takeaway: finding yourself again The journey to finding yourself requires courage and patience, but it’s the path to a more meaningful life. While the journey may be challenging at times, the rewards – a clearer sense of identity, purpose, and fulfilment – are invaluable. As Carl Jung said, “who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”. Remember that it's OK to feel lost in life while you explore how to find yourself. Just take it one step at the time, using the suggestions in this article to navigate the depths of your inner world. So why not start today, maybe with one of the self discovery questions above? ● Images: shutterstock/KieferPix, shutterstock/Daniel Hoz, PeopleImages - Yuri A happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Goal setting | Purpose of life | Healthy habits | Letting Go Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Mon, 28 Apr 2025 06:14:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/do-buddhists-believe-in-god/If Buddhism is a religion, surely Buddhists believe in a God? In fact, technically Buddhists are atheists. Ann Vrlak explains why Buddha's beliefs encourages us to turn inwards instead. Are Buddhists atheists? Nontheists? Or do Buddhists believe in God? These are all interesting questions, and ones that will help you understand how Buddhism is different from most Western religions. In everyday language, atheist and nontheist have the same meaning – both refer to people who do not believe in God. In religious or spiritual terms, however, there is a subtle difference. Atheism does mean a lack of belief in God, but atheists also believe there is no need for a “spiritual perspective” to understand life or to be a moral person. Nontheists also do not believe a God is necessary to guide human life, but they often do believe in the central role of spirituality. In this sense, Buddhists are not atheist, but nontheistic. Buddhism does not have an omnipotent God who created the world, but it is a rich spiritual tradition. Is Buddha a God? Most Western religions are organized around a kind of God who is the ultimate authority. There are institutions with learned intermediaries, like priests, imams and rabbis who enable communication between practitioners and God. Buddhism is different. It does not see belief in the existence of God as necessary to live a principled life. Instead, it is a comprehensive system of philosophy, ethics and practices that people can follow to awaken – meaning to have insight into the causes of human suffering and become free of it. All religions acknowledge that life can be stressful and painful. However, instead of turning to a church or to God for answers, Buddhists believe every person has the ability to turn inward – to uncover their own insight through study, meditation and action. “Buddhists are not atheist, but nontheistic. Buddhism does not have an omnipotent God who created the world, but it is a rich spiritual tradition.” The Buddha explained it this way. There was a seed of knowledge inside of him that was undeveloped. Through his effort, this knowledge grew to its full form and freed him from the wheel of life and death. Most importantly, he told followers this seed, known as Buddha-nature, is something we all have. It can bloom through commitment to the teachings he left behind. Isn’t Buddha a God? You may think, “Of course, Buddhists believe in God, they worship the Buddha!” nIt is true the Buddha is the central, revered figure of Buddhism, with thousands of temples and statues built in his memory. But, he is not considered a God. Buddha is seen as a beloved teacher and friend. RELATED: How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners The Hearth of Buddhism: the Birthplace of Buddha The man who became the Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama, founded today’s worldwide religion around 500 BCE. Buddhists regard him as a person whose commitment to understanding and transformation was so profound that he transcended all suffering. In a time and place where poverty and rigid social structures shaped many people’s lives, this teaching was welcomed as an eminently hopeful and egalitarian one. We are all equal in our ability to awaken, regardless of our life circumstances. Big Seated Buddha Statue, Bangkok, Thailand In fact, the Buddha actively discouraged metaphysical discussions. He believed in practical, individual change. Rather than divine power or a divine plan that is beyond our ability to influence, he taught the law of karma – or cause and effect. What we believe, what we practice, and what we do takes us into more suffering – or closer to freedom. Why Don’t Buddhists Believe in God? The Buddha taught that the desire for a God was not so much a religious desire, as a human one. He believed it came out of the need for an answer to the question of human suffering. Buddha agreed there was no more important question. He encouraged everyone to examine the spiritual assumptions of the day, but through individual practice and investigation. He challenged claims from religious institutions that truth could only come through God or their appointed teachers. Buddha’s teachings as a whole guide people to develop clear seeing, within and without. A core goal is to discover and begin to trust your own inner authority and knowledge. “Instead of turning to a church or to God for answers, Buddhists believe every person has the ability to turn inward – to uncover their own insight through study, meditation and action.” After all, the Buddha was a practical person. He saw that different religions had conflicting rules and beliefs. He questioned how people could decide which was “right,” without investigating through their own experience and insight. This is why he focussed on individual exploration and practice, rather than philosophical discussions that he believed would not yield wisdom or peace. Given the range of religious beliefs today, and the tragic conflicts that sometimes happen, it seems the Buddha’s concern was well founded. Are There Different Beliefs within Buddhism? Like the other major religions, Buddhism has several branches that focus on certain beliefs and practices. You can read about this diversity in our article on the spread of buddhism. Of the three main branches of Buddhism, Theravada, Mayayana and Vajrayana, two embrace a rich collection of deities. Mayayana and Vajrayana teachings include supernatural beings who help practitioners along the path. Buddhists look to Buddha as a teacher and guide, not as a God You may have heard the term Bodhisattvas. They are enlightened ones who, rather than transcending the human realm, remain behind to help others toward enlightenment out of compassion. These deities are not considered Gods, however. Instead, they are personifications of both positive and negative aspects of life. A person living with anxiety, for example, might call upon a deity of all-embracing love for comfort and strength. Takeaway: do Buddhists believe in a God? Buddhists’ belief in Buddha-nature cultivates a sense of unity with all beings. We all are subject to suffering, but we can also transcend it. So, are Buddhists atheists? Technically, yes. But, they have a deep belief that Buddha-nature is a common calling we share. The Buddha’s teachings offer real-life ways to align our thinking, beliefs and actions with that calling to help it to grow. • Images: shutterstock/Tanison Pachtanom, shutterstock/CowardLion, shutterstock/999 Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Altruism | Acceptance Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.Wed, 23 Apr 2025 07:35:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/eco-village-community/Sonia Vadlamani examines the concept of ecovillages as self-sustaining communities and how they aim to provide practical solutions for the critical environmental, economic, and social problems of our time. Discover the benefits and challenges to ecovillage living. In a world that’s rapidly changing and constantly buzzing with the demands of consumerism and mass production, ecovillages represent a conscious stand against this overexploitation of resources – a scenario also referred to as the “tragedy of the commons.” Ecovillages seek to counteract the adverse effects of our evidently flawed way of modern living, with perils like air pollution, plastic-choked environments, and alarming levels of food wastage. What is an ecovillage exactly? Although there is no concrete definition for an ecovillage, the Global Evovillage Network (GEN) describes it as a "community, either traditional or intentional, which aims at becoming more socially, culturally, economically, and ecologically sustainable." “Ecovillages seek to counteract the adverse effects of our evidently flawed way of modern living, with perils like air pollution, plastic, and food wastage.” In essence, ecovillages aim to minimize environmental harm and combat social issues we face at large today while inspiring others through their model and partnerships. Rather than being fixed or self-contained structures, ecovillages are designed to evolve constantly, sharing their models and encouraging cooperation to bring greater change. A possible ecovillage community of the future? Ecovillages: communities and care While the local participatory processes may differ from one ecovillage to another, each is built with resilience in mind and strives to create a positive impact on its surrounding natural and social environment. At the core of each ecovillage lies sustainability, stated as “the precise intersection of environment, economy, society, and culture.” The framework of ecovillages is generally supported by four pillars of sustainability: 1. Ecological sustainability The environment is impacted by all human activities, and thus maintaining ecological balance is central to an ecovillage’s model. Some of the essential practices include: Organic farming for food production Harnessing renewable energy sources Protecting and replenishing water resources Use of innovative and nature-friendly construction materials Waste reduction and reuse Safeguarding ecosystems and biodiversity 2. Economic sustainability Ecovillages strive to build local economies to meet people’s requirements while remaining resistant to global monetary systems and economic fluctuations. Here are some of the key components of economic sustainability for ecovillages: Ensuring fair ownership of land and resources Collaborative wealth creation Encouraging social entrepreneurship Ethical production and trade practices 3. Social sustainability Building strong social foundations and forging collaborations is vital for ensuring the longevity of an ecovillage. Ecovillages promote social sustainability through: Shared community vision that respects diversity Participation-based leadership and shared authority Equal access to education and healthcare Provisions for constructive conflict resolution 4. Cultural sustainability Respecting and supporting the diverse cultural identities of residents fosters a sense of belonging and connectedness. Cultural sustainability is upheld by: Supporting personal growth Respecting traditions and cultural beliefs Utilizing art to celebrate diversity Culture as a medium for reconnecting with nature Benefits of ecovillages While the local participatory processes may differ from one ecovillage to another, each is built with resilience in mind and strives to create a positive impact on its surrounding natural and social environment 1. Lower energy consumption A study of two Swedish ecovillages found that their ecological construction methods, if adopted by municipalities around the world, could significantly lower carbon emissions and promote urban sustainability. 2. Responsible economy Economic sustainability forms the framework for most ecovillages in the form of renewable technology, organic farming, and climate-responsive architecture, helping combat climate change. 3. Inspiration for national well-being strategies Ecovillager and active GEN member Robert Hall proposes using the ecovillage community model as the blueprint for economic and national development policies that prioritize the well-being and happiness of individuals over economic growth. 4. Value-based education Ecovillage models promote positive values like empathy, tolerance, diversity, mutual respect, and collaboration to drive positive change, which can pave the way for inclusive, sustainable living. Challenges of ecovillages Despite their inspiring and well-meaning objectives, ecovillages often encounter several hurdles in achieving sustainability and broader impact.Limited resources. Access to land, resources, and ongoing funding for the ecovillage on an ongoing basis remains one of the biggest challenges faced by several communities. Secondly, the scope for economic impact. The presence of economic opportunities in the area – without over dependence on natural resources – to sustain the members of the community is a recurring challenge for several ecovillages. MORE LIKE THIS: The Importance of Community: 7 Key Benefits 4 Science-Backed Benefits of Living By The Sea Finding Your Tribe: the 7 Steps You Need To Take Thirdly, governance issues is one of the most universal challenges. Ecovillage communities often face difficulty in setting fair and non-exploiting governance protocols for decision-making and conflict resolution. Similarly, a lack of a shared vision can also become problematic over time. Discovering, developing, and evolving a unified vision acts as the “glue” for such communities, and maintaining this cohesion can get difficult over time. Ecovillages around the world Far from being a passing fad, ecovillages are pioneering communities that strive to offer sustainable solutions for the pressing ecological and social challenges we collectively face today. The 2022 annual report by GEN outlined a detailed mapping of 1,043 eco-villages spread around the world. Here’s a look at how some of these ecovillage communities are making a positive difference: Findhorn Ecovillage, Scotland Initially set up in 1985 at Moray, Scotland, Findhorn Ecovillage is the largest intentional community in the UK. Based on the principles of low-carbon and sustainable living, this ecovillage emphasizes how social, ecological, and economic aspects of life are interconnected. Known as the “living laboratory,” Findhorn incorporates innovative features like “breathing walls” for natural insulation, efficient solar heating systems, and community-owned wind turbines that generate more than the entire electricity needed by the community. Community planting at Findhorn Ecovillage, Scotland According to an expert study, Findhorn’s ecological footprint is 50% less than the UK average, which means that the residents consume half the resources and generate just half the waste of an average UK citizen. Their “20-minute neighborhood” feature, where everything residents need – like groceries, workspaces, and schools – is within a 20-minute walk, significantly reduces their dependency on cars, therefore curbing their carbon footprint. Eco Truly Park, Peru Located an hour north of Lima on the seaside in the Aucallama district, Eco Truly Park houses an artistic, spiritual, and self-sustaining community. It features 18 striking conical structures called ‘trulys’ made of clay and natural materials, offering a distinctive, earthy aesthetic. Inspired by Vaishnava principles and rooted in traditional Indian teachings, this ecovillage attracts visitors who seek a deeper connection with nature and themselves. Volunteers and visitors can participate in immersive experiences like yoga retreats, art classes, and organic farming to encourage mindful and natural living. “While the local participatory processes may differ from one ecovillage to another, each is built with resilience in mind and strives to create a positive impact on its surrounding natural and social environment.” One can also engage in local ecological programs focused on sustainability and self-sufficiency, while also learning values like non-violence, compassion, and tolerance. Ultimately, the Eco Truly Park community aspires to create a replicable model for sustainable living – a solution to address the extreme poverty impacting over 14 million Peruvian citizens. The clay living huts at Eco Truly Park, Peru EcoVillage Ithaca, New York, United States One of the largest sustainable communities, Ecovillage Ithaca, was founded in 1991 with the aim to create effective solutions for various ecological and economic crises the world faces today. Home to around 230 individuals, the community’s mission is to “promote experiential learning about ways of meeting human needs for shelter, food, energy, livelihood, and social connectedness.” Indeed, thanks to their sustainable practices, the residents of the ecovillage have nearly a 70% lower ecological footprint than the average American. Innovative housing at EcoVillage Ithaca in New York The village consists of three neighbourhoods – Frog, Song, and Tree – with homes constructed using innovative green building techniques like passive solar design, triple-glazed windows for insulation, and photovoltaic solar panels that generate nearly half of the community’s electricity needs. Through their “Thrive” program, resident experts also offer learning opportunities for students, designers, and sustainability enthusiasts, centred on green construction techniques and organic farming practices. Takeaway: ecovillages Amid the chaos and noise of urban living, learning about ecovillages gives us a hopeful blueprint toward a sustainable, regenerative future. By integrating all four aspects of sustainability – ecological, economic, cultural, and social – these communities demonstrate how we can reshape our lifestyles to live in harmony with nature and preserve Earth’s ecological balance for future generations. • Images: shutterstockAI, Findhorn Ecovillage, EcoVillage Ithaca happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Community Living | Volunteering Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.Sat, 19 Apr 2025 05:07:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/feeling-lost-in-life/Feeling lost in life and not knowing what to do next can be paralyzing. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović explains how to embrace that 'I feel lost' panic we all get sometimes – and then how to move forward in 7 practical steps. ‘I feel lost in life'. Does this saying strike a chord? Have you ever muttered it to yourself in a moment of desperate reflection on the direction you're heading in? Feeling lost in life without the slightest idea where to go next can be daunting and help perpetuate stress. However, it's a common situation, one many of us have experienced (and will continue to experience) throughout our lives. Choosing a college, deciding on a career, or thinking about where to live are just some of the most common situations when you might feel frozen in this way. On the flip side, this feeling of being lost can also surface when you achieve some of your greatest goals and have no clue as what to do next! Indeed, when you undergo colossal life-changing experiences and become someone new, the old plans and ideals could stop resonating with you. So, even if you do discover what you want to do next in your life, at some point in the future this paralyzing fear may come back and set you adrift again. Let me show you what to do when you feel lost and how to draw a new map to creating a meaningful life. 7 steps for when you're feeling lost in life First, a disclosure. It wasn’t so long back that I myself was proclaiming 'I am lost!'. In fact, exactly nine years ago, I earned my degree, top of my class. I immediately got a job at a company and entered the 9 to 5 workforce. It was probably on only the second day that I had an epiphany about the meaninglessness of it all. I realised I was actually feeling lost with my life and decisions. In fact, I pretty much hated my life at that point. So, if you're experiencing a similar moment in your life and struggling to decide how to move on, here are seven steps you can take to make discovering your next move less stressful and more intuitive. 1. Put a stop on the search Do you hear the scary voice repeating how lost you are feeling in your head? Well, I know we're just getting started, but the first thing you need to do is actually put a stop to trying to figure out the answer. Although it may feel like an urgency, chances are, you need to take some time to pause first. Why? Feeling lost in life is a sign that you need to make changes Think of it as a creative problem-solving. It consists of four phases – preparation, incubation, illumination and verification. It’s safe to say that, if you don’t know what to do with your life, you hit an impasse in the process. It’s like trying to force yourself to write a best-selling novel: immediately! It just won’t work. Firstly, you need an intentional delay. Step away from the problem. The break will give your mind time and space for incubation to occur. Fill your time with activities such as walks, exercise, yoga, socialising with the right people, education and any other hobbies. Don’t worry. Your mind will be quietly working on the answer in the background. When we can’t resolve a problem, usually it’s because we’re fixated in our thinking. A break will allow for the habits, patterns and fixations to dissolve. What’s more, it will let the creativity flow in. 2. Prepare the terrain Once your mind has been given a chance to shift perspective, it’s time to go back to exploring the possibilities. However, you need to do it the right way. Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. There is scientific proof for the age-old wisdom advising against making decisions on an empty stomach. A study from the University of Dundee determined that, if we are hungry, we are more likely to seek immediate gratification. The problem is that this tendency does not apply to food choices alone. Hunger negatively affects our financial and interpersonal decisions, too. “Make your internal and external environment ready for some soul-searching on why you're feeling lost in life. Be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal.” The same goes for not being rested. Sleep deprivation has severe cognitive and neural consequences. Anyone who, for any reason, has been sleep-deprived, knows well the mind-fog it creates. It becomes impossible to think clearly and make coherent and considered decisions. And what about our environment? An interesting study determined that even lighting can affect the ability to solve problems. According to the findings, what you need is the kind of light that feels right to you. It’s up to you if you prefer ‘warm’ or ‘cool’, or dimmed or bright light. The trick is in making the light in the room elicit a positive mood. Your cognitive abilities will follow along. RELATED: Following Your Bliss: 5 Steps to Get Started What's the Point of Life? How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Strategies So, when you're ready to explore why you're feeling lost in life, be sure to do it after a good night’s rest and after a hearty, healthy meal. Make your environment work for you. Prepare the terrain, go to a room where you feel good, fix the lighting, and get going. 3. Search deep within: meditate A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self. The benefits of meditation have been confirmed over and over again. Indeed, a review of over 160 studies that met the strict criteria determined that meditation has positive effects on emotional and interpersonal issues and cognitive abilities. As little as four days of mindfulness training improved cognitive performance in another study. But how does this relate to you seeking out your future life path? Well, meditation can deliver the clarity of mind and emotion you need when figuring out your purpose in life. It can open the path to communicating with yourself, in a sense. 4. Remember what you used to love When you were a kid or teenager, chances are you never felt lost in life. You simply did whatever it was that you were doing. Yes, it was objectively much easier not to contemplate on what to do with your life: your parents took care of your needs, and you didn’t have anyone’s needs you should be taking care of. Then adult life happened. Nonetheless, there’s a wisdom in the young(er) you that could help you find your way now. Do you remember the state of losing yourself (in a good way)? It could have been reading a book, making art, solving logical or mathematical problems, learning something new, dancing, or exercising. Do you remember a cause for which you used to feel a fire burning inside of you? An idea that made you forget everything as long as you could work towards it? Explore what you really love doing and find your flow state What most probably happened to you in those times is called flow state, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. His research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy. So, what does this mean for you at this point? When you feel that your life is off track, a good place to start is to ask yourself: what is it that puts me in a state of ‘flow’? What is it that I used to love doing and believed in? Is there a way to rearrange my life and put such activities and causes at the forefront? 5. Brainstorm: and then limit your choices Once you’ve been through the previous four steps and opened up the search area, it’s time to narrow things down and list some concrete ideas. Do a brainstorming session with yourself. You can make a list, a vision board, a graph – whatever works. Your goal is to think of as many scenarios for yourself as possible. However – once you do, you will then begin to narrow down your choices. Kierkegaard spoke of ‘dizziness of freedom’, the bewildering anxiety we experience when facing the limitlessness of possibilities for ourselves and our lives. Indeed, in the world of empirical research, it has been found that there is such a thing as too many options. When you face ‘choice overload’, you might not be able to make the right call. “When you're feeling lost in life, write your own obituary. Stop and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how want to live your life while you have it.” So, once you have thought of possible routes for yourself, try to sit with each option for some time. See if they still seem right after a while. You will want to eliminate most of them gradually. An exercise that might help you determine which options to keep is asking yourself “Why?” five times. That is, set a goal for yourself, such as a steady job, financial security, spiritual growth, family, health or well-being. Then, ask yourself why you want this. When you respond, repeat the question: why do you want that? After five rounds of ‘Why?’ you should be pretty close to your most profound motivation. Use it to plan and create the new life for yourself. Feeling lost in life? Brainstorm ideas, then narrow choices 6. Write your own obituary One of my favourite techniques for jolting oneself out of inertia when feeling lost in life and finding a way forward is rooted in existential-humanistic psychology. The task is pretty straightforward – write your own obituary. OK, it sounds morbid, and although you may feel some initial discomfort, it’s actually a rewarding and transformative exercise. According to the author of a recent study, the technique delivers a “greater sense of acceptance, appreciation, and awe toward the possibilities of living the life one envisions”. The logic behind the technique is simple. Even though we might not like it, we will eventually die. So, stop now and think about how you would most like to be remembered. Think of how you want to live your life while you still have it. You might be surprised by how your obituary would sound at the moment. And, most importantly, you will probably find out where you need to go next. “A problem as weighty as feeling lost in life requires going deep to find the solution. Meditation can help you get in touch with your most profound Self.” Allow me to express the weight of the ideas behind proposing this technique with a quote: “So, live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning 7. Practice acceptance and non-judgement Finally, once you have made your decision, you will need to be a good support for yourself. If you’re feeling lost in life, you're actually at a moment that will inevitably lead to a major change. And, changes often don’t come easy, even when they are for the better. Perhaps your change will mean investing time, money and a lot of effort before it can be realised. RELATED: When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading Inner Turmoil: Understanding and Resolving It 7 Ways to Develop a Can-Do Attitude Therefore, prepare to go through the change with an attitude of acceptance and non-judgement. Embrace your decision, and all that comes with it. The ideal state to step into your new life is with plenty of self-love. Self-kindness prepares you to function and perform optimally and live a healthy and rewarding life. Takeaway: what to do when you feel lost You might remember my not-so-original experience about the realisation of how pointless my life was. In case you wondered how it turned out for me: here I am, doing what I love and with a great work life balance. When I was younger and used to talk about my dream career, I didn’t think it was actually possible. Yet, after going through the steps above, the path opened itself. In the meantime, I went through many other massive changes, internally and externally. And, I have another disclosure for you. To be honest, ’I feel lost' is a thought that has never fully left my side. Indeed, it has reappeared in many instances, professionally and personally. However, rather than let the feeling overwhelm me, I have learnt to see it as a nudge. It is a prod to keep questioning whether I'm living a worthy life, in peace with my values. In fact, I see it as a life saviour – life being defined as something that ought to have a point. When you realise that you are feeling lost or adrift, don’t succumb to anxiety. As scary as it may be, feeling this way is actually an insight that will send you on a path of never accepting purposelessness or inertness. So, embrace your inner voice and make these solid steps to discover your next journey! • Images: shuttertoskc/wolfstudiobkk, shutterstock/Rawpixel.com, shutterstock/theshots.co happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ sharing and supporting others in our happiness forum Coaching | Letting go | Motivation | Authenticity Written by Stanislava Puač Jovanović Stanislava Puač Jovanović has a master’s degree in psychology and works as a freelance writer and researcher in this area. Her primary focus is on questions relating to mental health, stress-management, self-development and well-being.Tue, 15 Apr 2025 04:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/what-is-equanimity-meaning/Equanimity is a state of holding mental and emotional stability and calmness, especially during stressful situations. Dee Marques explores 7 key benefits of this superpower emotion and tells us how we can all become more equanimous... We all go through moments that test our patience. Maybe it's the driver who cuts you off in traffic, the colleague who takes credit for your work, or the neighbour who keeps leaving piles of boxes and packaging in the landing. We may start our day with the best intentions, but sometimes, these situations get the best of us, leaving us agitated and on edge. If you’re reading this article, you’re someone committed to personal growth and self-improvement, so chances are you’ve been thinking about what’s the best way to respond to this type of events. And while there’s no shortage of advice on stress management and emotional regulation, there's a crucial quality that often goes unmentioned: equanimity. So, what is equanimity exactly? Let's explore the essence of this trait, looking at its true meaning, its profound benefits, and some practical strategies to cultivate it. What is equanimity? Definition and meaning of equanimity The word "equanimity" comes from the Latin aequanimitas, which combines aequus (meaning "even" or "level") and animus (meaning "mind" or "spirit"). Essentially, it refers to an evenness of mind, a state of internal stability and composure that's not disturbed by experiences that could otherwise make us lose our inner balance. Equanimity meaning: undisturbed internal stability in the face of stress This is also an important concept in Buddhism, where equanimity is referred to as upekkha. This word is formed from the Pali prefix upa, which means “over” or “all around,” and the root ikh, meaning “to look” or “to see.” So upekkha is the capacity to see the full picture, of being inclusive in our vision, embracing many perspectives without taking sides. Equanimity is gaining recognition in the field of mental health. For example, in personality psychology there’s a link between equanimity and resilience, as the intentional practice of this trait can counter high neuroticism and strengthen the ability to cope with stressful situations. “What is equanimity? It refers to an evenness of mind, a state of internal stability and composure that's not disturbed by experiences that could otherwise make us lose our inner balance.” Understanding the meaning of equanimity also involves recognising its opposite: a state of agitation or emotional reactiveness. Without equanimity, we’re likely to feel dominated by impulses and extreme mood swings that make it difficult to handle stress effectively. But although equanimity involves maintaining a balanced and non-reactive approach, it doesn't imply a lack of care or being emotionally cold. As meditation teacher Jack Kornfield notes, “True equanimity is not a withdrawal; it is a balanced engagement with all aspects of life. It is opening to the whole of life with composure and ease of mind, accepting the beautiful and terrifying nature of all things.” Benefits of equanimity Now we understand the meaning of equanimity, let's see how cultivating more of it does wonders for us. 1. Enhanced emotional resilience Equanimity improves the ability to recover from emotional setbacks. Research suggests that people with higher levels of equanimity have greater resilience, as they minimise both the magnitude and the duration of their response to events perceived as negative or unpleasant. 2. Stronger self-regulation There’s also evidence that equanimity helps control disruptive emotions and improve emotional regulation. This trait “tempers” both behavioural and cognitive responses to life experiences, so that we’re not constantly thrown into emotional ups and downs. 3. Improved stress management Sometimes, we can’t help but feel stressed. Equanimity can reduce the impact of stressors by helping us return to a balanced state faster. In turn, this can help reduce the allostatic load of stress (the cumulative effect of stress on body and mind), making us less likely to develop associated conditions, ranging from heart disease to Type 2 diabetes or depressive disorders. Cultivate equanimity with conscious breathing and meditation 4. Reduction in anxiety and depression Since equanimity is about achieving higher levels of emotional stability, its practice can alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression and gradually lead to fewer mood disturbances. 5. Increased self-awareness Responding to life with composure requires monitoring our reactions, so the regular practice of equanimity promotes self-awareness and leads to a deeper understanding of our thoughts and emotions. 6. Better decision-making We can all remember that decision we made from a place of emotional reactiveness –as well as its negative consequences. RELATED: Inner Peace: 3 Key Techniques to Finding It Mindfulness Vs Meditation: What's the Difference? 5 Skills You'll Learn Through Meditation Since equanimity keeps us disengaged from emotional fluctuations, it facilitates a clearer assessment of situations, so our mind is less likely to be clouded by impulses, helping us make more rational and thoughtful decisions. 7. Quality relationships There’s no doubt that emotional balance contributes to more harmonious interactions. Not only that, but in reducing our judgements towards others, we can build connections based on greater empathy, compassion, and understanding, reducing conflict and fostering healthier relationships. Examples of equanimity Here are some situations from daily life that can easily pile up and where equanimity can be of great help: • Interpersonal conflicts This trait can help us remain calm during disagreements with friends or family members. • Receiving criticism A composed spirit makes it easier to accept feedback without becoming defensive. • Daily annoyances Being equanimous can take the edge off daily hassles, such as dealing with bad drivers, people jumping the queue, or inconsiderate neighbours. • Unexpected changes This trait is key in helping us adapt gracefully to sudden alterations to our plans or to interferences with our daily routines. • Technological frustrations An equanimous approach is a must in the digital era, as it allows us to keep our cool when we are repeatedly asked for passwords/pin codes, devices malfunction, or internet connections are slow. Cultivating equanimity: meditation and more Meditation is one of the most powerful ways to cultivate equanimity because it helps us develop the ability to observe our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without letting them control our narrative. In mindfulness meditation, we’re invited to observe what arises with curiosity and non-judgement. Through meditation, we train ourselves to react with equanimity, and over time this can even change our brain. Studies show that mindfulness practice reduces the amygdala’s size (the brain’s fear centre), and improves density in parts of the brain that manage emotional regulation and executive functioning. “Understanding the meaning of equanimity also involves recognising its opposite: a state of agitation or emotional reactiveness. Without equanimity, we’re likely to feel dominated by impulses and extreme mood swings.” Meditation isn’t the only way to build equanimity. Slow, conscious breathing sends signals to the nervous system that it’s safe to relax. Cognitive reframing can also help: when you feel your balance is getting disrupted, ask yourself “how is this reaction helping me?”. This makes you aware of the fact that you have a choice when it comes to your reactions. From this point, you can choose to interpret events in a less catastrophic way, responding with intention instead of reacting automatically. What is equanimity? Keeping calm and composure amid chaos Other helpful actions include spending time in nature, journaling, and even cultivating a daily gratitude habit, which can rewire our emotional responses, gradually replacing reactivity with calm and groundedness. Takeaway: equanimity is your superpower Equanimity isn’t something reserved for monks who live isolated from the world or for people who never lose their temper. The beauty of equanimity lies in its everyday power. Indeed, it’s not about pretending things don’t affect you or about shutting down emotionally. It’s about choosing how to respond, and about becoming the kind of person who can sit with discomfort without needing to fix it or escape it. As Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh said, upekkha is “the ability to let go, not to abandon”. More importantly, this is a quality you can build. Daily practices like meditation, journaling, and reframing your thoughts can help you become more aware of your patterns, giving you a starting point to develop a stronger inner balance. So next time you find yourself on the brink, remember: this is the perfect moment to remember the meaning of equanimity and to practise it: breath, and meet your feelings with presence and steadiness. With time and intention, equanimity will become your natural superpower. ● Images: shutterstock/4 PM Productions, shutterstock/KOTOIMAGES, shutterstock/Bagus Production happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Letting Go | Acceptance | Internal conflict Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Mon, 14 Apr 2025 10:02:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/how-to-protect-your-energy/How can you protect your energy? Sonia Vadlamani explores research-backed strategies to help navigate situations that leave you overwhelmed, stressed, or drained by negativity. In a world marked by global uncertainty, over-dependence on technology, and a constant stream of mobile app notifications, our mental reserves are being drained more rapidly than ever. Yet, while we instinctively protect our physical selves, many of us often overlook the importance of safeguarding our mental well-being. Indeed, we may believe that we have free agency over our choices, but research establishes that we only have a finite amount of mental energy or bandwidth. Known as ego depletion, this concept suggests that each decision or choice we make draws from a finite energy reserve. As this energy reserve dwindles, the quality of our choices and decisions can suffer. In the absence of conscious efforts to protect your energy reserve, you can experience poor decision-making, low productivity, stress, and eventually, burnout. Why protecting your energy is important Instances of energy burnout are at an all-time high. The Burnout Report 2025 reveals that 91% of UK adults reported feeling high or extreme levels of pressure or stress in the previous year. Meanwhile, 66% of American adults admit to experiencing burnout at work. Additionally, you may also feel the need to protect your energy while confronting so-called ‘energy vampires’ – needy friends, demanding colleagues, or emotionally draining instances that can leave you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. Low battery? Time to start protecting your energy Protecting your energy helps you eliminate negativity and distraction from your life in a sustainable and intentional manner. Preserving your energy reserves also helps you pace yourself and avoid negative thoughts and stress, enabling you to focus on what’s more important. How to protect your energy: 7 ways to prevent energy drain So, we understand that knowing how to protect our energy is important, but how do we eliminate the stressors that leave us drained? Here are some science-backed ways to safeguard your mental bandwidth: 1. Practice emotional intelligence Researchers have long emphasized the vital connection between emotional intelligence and overall well-being. Thus, developing self-awareness is the first step toward learning to protect your energy. Make it a habit to check in with your emotions at regular intervals throughout the day. For example, if you notice signs of stress – like irritability or feeling unusually snappy – it may be ideal to slow down and recharge, perhaps with a spa day or a quiet nature walk. Similarly, experiencing a low mood or emotional numbness could indicate loneliness, and a cozy coffee date with a close friend could be the perfect remedy. 2. Set healthy boundaries Setting healthy boundaries is a fundamental aspect of protecting your energy. While it can feel uncomfortable – sometimes even rude – at first, establishing and communicating boundaries is a sign of emotional maturity. Whether it’s in friendships, romantic relationships, or at work, boundaries play a vital role across all areas of our lives. “Setting healthy boundaries is a fundamental aspect of protecting your energy. While it can feel uncomfortable, establishing and communicating boundaries is a sign of emotional maturity.” In addition to helping us maintain balance and enabling healthier relationships, research suggests that healthy boundaries also serve as a crucial tool for safeguarding our mental health. Indeed, setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away – it’s about protecting your peace so you can be your authentic self for the commitments and relationships that truly matter. Set boundaries and keep energy vampires at bay Nedra Glover Tawwab, mental health therapist and author of the bestselling book Set Boundaries, Find Peace, outlines three simple yet powerful steps to help you protect your energy through boundaries: Be self-aware Understand what works for you, be clear about your expectations – both from yourself and others – and what aligns with your values and comfort levels. The clarity attained from this reflection is key to establishing boundaries. Communicate openly Convey your needs and preferences clearly and directly, rather than dropping hints or making indirect references. Be assertive Express your boundaries respectfully and with confidence, asserting your needs and priorities as a form of self-care. Remember, setting boundaries may often bring up feelings of discomfort, shame, or guilt. When this happens, it’s important to accept these feelings and still move forward. Giving in to unhealthy patterns can cause resentment, burnout, or even emotional distress. 3. Say “no” more often Similarly, saying “no” can be awkward and difficult, and for people-pleasers, it can seem like a near-impossible task. However, doing so when your energy is low or your schedule is crammed is crucial for setting healthy boundaries. Saying no also helps prevent negative outcomes like resentment, regret, stress, or burnout. As a selective introvert, I remember struggling to decline invitations. I’d agree to attend parties, movies, music concerts, etc, just to avoid disappointing my friends. But then I'd return home drained, overstimulated, and with other telltale signs of an introvert hangover. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed Navigating Life: 10 Tips For Overcoming Obstacles How to Overcome Challenges and Move Forward Over time, and upon self-reflection, I learned that saying no isn’t an act of selfishness but self-care. Interestingly, my closest friends eventually learned to appreciate this shift, since they understood that I was more engaged and enthusiastic when I attended out of interest, not obligation. We often say “yes” to plans simply to avoid disappointing others, even though we’re stressed, busy, or already overburdened with responsibilities. Incidentally, researchers Julian Givi et al researched this specific aspect, with their study revealing that we often overestimate the potential negative outcomes of declining an invite for a social activity. The truth is that most inviters understand. The same applies for favours asked of you at work as well – if you’re at capacity, it’s OK to say no to additional tasks and stretch yourself too thinly. 4. Create a sanctuary Create a safe space in your home where you can truly unwind and recharge. Design areas for hobbies, crafts, and activities that help put your mind at ease. These safe spaces can be your simple yet effective answer to protecting your energy. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I find comfort in running a bath and reading or cooking a cozy meal for two from scratch. On the days my brain is scrambled with too many details coming from all quarters, I find that taking a short break to work on a jigsaw puzzle helps me reset my focus for the next task. “Tapping into the power of visualization can be the answer to how to protect your energy. It can help you create a ‘wall’ or mental barrier, allowing you to block negativity and manage your thoughts with intention.” Having a happy space to return to, especially after a stressful day at work or when you’re overstimulated, can help you recharge and gain a fresh perspective. Remember to declutter these spaces regularly to keep them truly restorative and free of visual chaos. Power low? Switch off and conserve your energy 5. Use visualization techniques Tapping into the power of visualization can be the answer to how to protect your energy as it can help you create a ‘wall’ or mental barrier, allowing you to block negativity and manage your thoughts with intention. Regular practice of visualization techniques can help you feel grounded and recharge yourself. Here are a couple of techniques you can try: Create your ‘happy’ place Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and visualize a place where you feel happy and calm. This could be your favorite hiking trail – leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, sunlight filtering through the branches, its warmth caressing your skin like a hug. For me, a cherished memory is that of us playing with our beloved dog, Coffee, on the beach – sand beneath our feet, the mewing seagulls, Coffee fetching us small sticks and chasing crabs in sheer glee. Draw in as much sensory detail as possible. Focus on the joy this place brings you. Take deep breaths as you let the positivity fill your heart for a full minute. The cloak of protection Imagine wrapping yourself in a protective cloak made of white light, designed specifically to keep negativity at bay. Start at your feet and gradually work upward, picturing this light covering you in a soft, comforting shield. Finally pull the hood over your head, and as you’re cocooned in this cloak, notice the sensory details – the warmth, its softness on your skin, and its reassuring weight. Stay with this image for as long as you need to start the day with a renewed sense of strength. 6. Replenish yourself in nature The benefits of spending time in nature for our overall well-being are well-documented. Yet, according to a 2018 Nielsen Total Audience Report, most Americans spend nearly 11 hours per day in front of their screens. This growing reliance on technology often leaves us with very little time to step outdoors and connect with nature. Whether it’s a short walk in the park or a weekend hike in the wilderness, spending time in nature can significantly reduce stress, ease anxiety, and help us protect our energy more effectively. “Learning how to protect your energy isn’t about placing crystals on your nightstand – it pertains to redirecting your focus intentionally toward what’s more important.” Interestingly, nurturing something into life can also foster a sense of self-care and well-being. Therefore, projects like kitchen gardening are a great way to connect with nature, as well as reap benefits like better life satisfaction and improved physical and mental health. Recharge your batteries in nature 7. Breathing and meditation Breathing may be the most natural thing we do, but deliberate control of breathwork – like slow and mindful breathing techniques, for instance – can be a powerful tool for stress management and healing. Conscious breathing – or intentionally focusing on your breath – has been shown to have therapeutic benefits for our mental health. Practicing breathwork can help you manage stress and protect your energy in a more effective manner. RELATED: Uncover the Healing Power of the Breath Meditation is another simple yet powerful technique to reconnect with a compassionate, peaceful space within yourself. Try the loving-kindness meditation technique using visualization: start by directing warmth and positive affirmations for yourself, then gradually extend them to others – loved ones, acquaintances, and even the difficult people around you. Regular practice can help foster empathy, enabling you to stay centered in positive energy. Takeaway: protect your energy Learning how to protect your energy isn’t necessarily about chasing good vibes or placing crystals on your nightstand – it pertains to redirecting your focus intentionally toward what’s more important. Self-awareness is the first step toward protecting your energy. Tuning into your emotions and recognizing tell-tale signs of stress, regret, or mental exhaustion can help prevent your energy from being depleted. Once you identify what you’re feeling, you can respond with intention and choose the most effective form of self-care to restore your balance and recharge your energy. ● Images: shutterstock/Alphavector, shutterstock/HannaStudio, shutterstock/Rido, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to enjoy: ■ our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Motivation | Positive psychology | Volunteering Written by Sonia Vadlamani Fitness and healthy food blogger, food photographer and stylist, travel-addict and future-self journaler. Sonia loves to write and has resolved to dedicate her life to revealing how easy and important it is to be happier, stronger and fitter each day. Follow her daily pursuits at FitFoodieDiary or on Instagram.Thu, 10 Apr 2025 13:40:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/science-psychology/the-healing-power-of-pets-health-benefits/The companionship and mental health benefits pets bring is widely known, but did you know the healing power of pets extends to physical relief as well? Ed Gould discovers five key health benefits that our furry friends can bring. What is it about pets that make them so therapeutic? It's a question I've asked myself before, having benefited from family furry friends and from spending time with other people's pets too. You might have posed the same question yourself. After all, animals are now routinely used in geriatric homes and hospital wards to lift people's spirits. So, if the health benefits of pets are known to professional caregivers, then the healing power of pets should not come as a surprise in domestic situations. Pets will often show signs of grief if they're separated from owners and sometimes display even deeper connections, such as knowing when we're in pain or danger. Of course, one of the key parts of the curative power of pets is that they love us in an unconditional way that human relationships rarely achieve. So, what does the latest research tell us about the health benefits of having a pet around the home? The healing power of pets: what science says Scientific research into the healing power of pets has been ongoing for decades. Most new studies focus on just one or two health benefits of pets but many researchers would agree that the advantages of pet ownership are multi-faceted in terms of healthcare. Let's take a look at some of the latest research. 1. Stress reduction and pet companionship Many pet owners would gladly admit that spending time with their animal helps them to relax and keep things in perspective. Returning from a tough day at work to a welcome from your pet – which really doesn't care about work stress – can help you to instantly calm down. Therapy dogs are used in hospital wards shutterstock/Monkey Business Images A 2019 study into animal interactions and stress conducted at Washington State University found that students were much more relaxed if they interacted with animals prior to taking their exams. Most reported a heightened state of tension that was relieved when they spent as few as ten minutes with animals. Pet owners can expect even better results due to greater levels of companionship. 2. Lowering blood pressure with pets According to Allen McConnell, a professor of psychology based at Miami University, the healing power of pets is very real – enough to lower your blood pressure. McConnell, who studies the ways humans interact with their pets, says that owning an animal can give people a sense of purpose and belonging that augments feelings of positivity which translates to health benefits. Stanley Coren, a psychology professor and neuropsychological researcher from the University of British Columbia agrees with these findings. “Your blood pressure lowers when you interact with an animal in a friendly way and your muscles relax, too,” he said. Another study in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease said that stroking animals – even pet snakes – can help to bring blood pressure down. 3. Heart disease and the health benefits of pets In 1997 American medic Larry Dossey published a literature review concerning the medicinal power of pets. In it, he noted that at that time there were over 2,000 therapy programs in the US using animals to assist people with a wide range of conditions. In particular, he highlighted a scientific study that dated back to 1980. “One of the key parts of the healing power of pets is that they love us in an unconditional way that human relationships rarely achieve.” Conducted by Erika Friedmann of the University of Pennsylvania, it showed that people who suffered from heart disease were more likely to survive for a longer period if they had a pet at home. Following their treatment, people with a pet in their lives to return to had a much greater chance of recovery. In fact, pets were found to be a stronger predictor of survival than even having a supportive family around the individual concerned! 4. Improved mental health Many people with a pet will report that they feel mentally better off for having them in their lives. The scientific research into pet ownership and conditions like depression are mixed, however, with some backing up anecdotal evidence and others showing no significant healing power of pets either way. Stroking a pet lowers blood pressure shutterstockk/Damir Khabirov Certainly, pet ownership can lead to social interactions, especially when walking a dog, for example, which is known to help with conditions like depression and anxiety. According to work conducted by Sandy Branson of the University of Texas Science Center, homebound adults, particularly older people, do get a psychological lift from pet ownership. Her research looked into cognitive function and depression. In it, she found a significant correlation between better mental health and pet ownership among older people. 5. The healing power of pets and hormonal responses According to the aforementioned study in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, touching a pet not only helps to lower blood pressure, but it also boosts our output of oxytocin, a happiness hormone that promotes feelings of trust and relaxation. “People who suffered from heart disease were more likely to survive for a longer period if they had a pet at home.” More widely, dog owners can expect an upturn in immunoglobulin A, an antibody that helps the immune system. Furthermore, a study published in Oxford in 2017 showed that children relaxed better in the company of pets, largely due to a perceived drop in hormones like cortisol which are associated with stress responses. 6. Mindfulness and pet ownership Pets help to keep you anchored in the here and now. Because animals tend not to express feelings of anxiety of what might be or what has passed, they help us to live in the moment, a key aspect of various forms of mindfulness including MBSR, for example. According to an article published by Harvard Medical School, mindfulness can be boosted by dog ownership, especially when you go on a walk together. Dr Ann Berger, a researcher at the NIH Clinical Center in Maryland agrees with this idea. She says that the foundations of mindfulness are based on attention, intention, compassion and awareness. “These are things that animals bring to the table innately that people have to learn,” she says. The takeaway: the healing power of pets However you look at it, pets are beneficial for their owners in numerous ways. In terms of health benefits, our understanding is still ongoing, but few people regret owning one in terms of either their physical or mental well-being. Make sure to give your furry friends some extra attention and reward them for all the health benefits they bring! Main image: shutterstock/Africa Studio happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practice, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum ■ learn with free online classes in our happiness Academy Gratitude | Burnout | Stress management Written by Ed Gould Ed Gould is a UK-based journalist and practitioner of Reiki.Thu, 10 Apr 2025 09:06:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/the-spread-of-buddhism/Buddhism is a globally-practiced faith, but how did it diffuse from its birthplace? Ann Vrlak explores the spread of Buddhism, from a village in modern-day Nepal to the Western world. Buddhism was born in a village in the Indian sub-continent over 2,500 years ago. Today, it is a global faith practiced by about 7% of the world’s population – over 500 million people. The Buddha’s teachings on suffering, impermanence and the path to personal freedom spoke to people in all walks of life. His broad understanding of human psychology made his teachings accessible. People could relate the values and beliefs to their own struggles. Buddhism is a non-theistic religion, so it was well suited to blend with other regional traditions and cultures – to influence them and be influenced by them. Buddhism’s emphasis on personal growth and responsibility most often enriched other traditions, rather than conflicting with them. If you didn't already know, this is called “syncretism” – the integration of different cultures, philosophies or religions. The Early Movement of Buddhism There was, of course, no technology in 500 BCE – no phones, no email and definitely no internet! The spread of Buddhism literally happened by word of mouth, through trade routes, missionary work, influential leaders and cultural exchanges of the time. Like.a butterfly, Buddhism travelled wide and far! One of the most powerful patrons of Buddhism’s early spread was Emperor Ashoka whose Maurya Empire included most of what we now know as India and Iran. Ashoka’s conversion to Buddhism in the 3rd century BCE was profound. He used his vast resources to establish monasteries and build sacred Buddhist structures (called stupas). His missionaries spread Buddhism throughout Central and Southeast Asia, as well as Sri Lanka. Buddhism Diffuses Through the Trade Routes The spread of Buddhism was accelerated by the vast web of trade routes of the Silk Road, stretching from China, through India and Persia, into some corners of the Mediterranean. Buddhism eventually took hold in China around the 2nd century CE, through waves of merchants and monks who brought Buddhist teachings and artefacts. The sharing of goods came with the sharing of Buddhist ideas and practices. Buddhism’s expansion can be seen in archaeological evidence along the Silk Road. There are many ruins of monasteries along the way, with remnants of written scriptures. “The spread of Buddhism was accelerated by the vast web of trade routes of the Silk Road, stretching from China, through India and Persia.” One of the most breathtaking sites is the Mogao Caves of China, built around 300 CE. The Caves are a UNESCO World Heritage Centre that features an ornate temple, a labyrinth of caves, miles of murals and thousands of sculptures. They tell the story of the rich Buddhist culture that thrived along trade corridors. Buddhism spread further throughout Asia, along with the expansion of trade in China, as well as Korea, Japan and Tibet. Historians date the first sustained contact with China during the Han Dynasty from 200 BCE to 200 CE. Ancient stupa in the Himalayas, Nepal Like other regions, there was the cross-pollination of values and practices between Buddhism and the Chinese traditions of Taoism and Confucianism. For example, the Taoist idea of wu wei (meaning “effortless action”) influenced Buddhist approaches to meditation. Another branch of Chinese Buddhism – Ch’an later known as Zen – migrated to Japan in the 6th century CE where it remains an enduring branch of Buddhism. RELATED: Do Buddhists Believe in God? The Dalai Lama is the most recognized leader of Tibetan Buddhism. This form of Buddhism is a rich spiritual tradition, with a vast range of meditation practices, many aimed at helping practitioners reconnect with the wisdom of the body. You may have seen elaborate images from this tradition that portray deities who embody aspects of the awakened mind – from anger that provides energy for change, to benevolent deities who personify compassion. The other predominant form of Buddhism from Tibet is Vajrayana that arose in the 8th century CE. Vajrayana is founded on esoteric practices that create a “direct path” to enlightenment, through intense meditation, study, visualization and time spent in a monastic environment. Buddhism Spreads into the West Buddhism reached Western society in Europe and North America in the 19th and 20th century, through a growing academic interest in Buddhist texts and the arrival of prominent teachers. The thread of individualism in Buddhist teaching – that personal growth and understanding is the core of spiritual life – fit well with the personal autonomy valued in Western culture. Buddhism encouraged personal exploration and validation of The Silk Road propelled the spread of Buddhism In the early 1900s, Buddhism spread to Europe and America through a network of Buddhist centres where people could learn meditation and Buddhist philosophy. Buddhist organizations sprang up to offer retreats, workshops and sangha – a group of people with the same aspirations who support each other. A Global Community The greatest concentration of Buddhist practitioners remains in the East, predominantly in Thailand, China and Japan. There is also widespread interest in Canada, the US and the UK. “In the early 1900s, Buddhism spread to Europe and America through a network of centres where people could learn meditation and Buddhist philosophy.” But, no matter where you are in the world today, you will likely be able to find a Buddhist study group or centre. You can also find ways to learn and practice through reputable online communities. RELATED: How To Practice Buddhism For Beginners Buddhism has played a central role in the explosion of interest in meditation and mindfulness over the last few decades. Seekers are drawn to the many forms of practice that can teach valuable skills for well-being, like cultivating compassion, concentration and equanimity. The different facets of Buddhism allow people to choose how they would like to begin – with a daily meditation practice, studying values and philosophy, or even choosing a period of monastic life. Takeaway: how buddhism spread The expansion of Buddhism from a town in the Indian sub-continent to a global religion is a true success story – and it is still being written. The practicality and adaptability of the Buddha’s teachings have allowed it to fuse with other philosophies and religions, in different places and in different times. Indeed, modern society’s embrace of Buddhist practices is a testament to the ongoing resilience of the Buddha’s path. • Images shutterstock/Belight, shutterstock/kiwisoul, shutterstock/Erman Gunes, happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Altruism | Acceptance Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.Mon, 07 Apr 2025 07:47:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/personal-growth/how-to-deal-with-disappointment/Setbacks and disappointments in life are inevitable but it's possible to overcome them. It's essential to not let such obstacles impact on our confidence or make us resentful. Learn how to deal with disappointment effectively with these 8 tips from Dee Marques. I still remember the sinking feeling in my stomach when I read the first sentence of that email: “We regret to inform you that…”. It hit me hard. I'd spent weeks preparing for the interview for my dream job, planning a getaway to celebrate my new role, imagining myself at the fancy office – only to be rejected. And then there are the smaller, everyday letdowns that seem to come all at once: dates that get cancelled last minute, products or services that don’t live up to the hype, a recipe that doesn’t turn out right, etc. Disappointment comes in many forms and is an inevitable part of life. We all face it, whether in relationships, at work, or within ourselves. But despite how common it is, disappointment can still feel deeply personal and overwhelming. And since we all experience it sooner or later, learning how to deal with disappointment is essential, so we can limit its impact on our well-being and confidence. Let's look in detail at this common emotion and explore practical ways of dealing with disappointment in different aspects of life. What’s the meaning of disappointment? We usually feel disappointed whenever our expectations or hopes are not met. When we anticipate a positive outcome, our brain releases large amounts of dopamine, the “happy hormone”, but dopamine levels drop to zero when things don’t work out as expected. Setbacks at work are common: try to reframe disappointment Not only that, but scientists have noticed that disappointment activates the brain’s pain centres, so this can be quite a complex emotion that triggers secondary emotions like sadness, hurt, betrayal, frustration, inadequacy, grief, or anger, so sometimes it can be difficult to tell what it is exactly that we’re feeling. MORE LIKE THIS: How to Stop Beating Yourself Up: 7 Ideas That Work When Life Gives You Lemons, Try Lemonading! How to Prime Your Mind For Optimism Although disappointment is a normal emotion, letting it fester inside you can breed resentment against yourself, other people, or life itself, which can create a lot of physical and mental tension, being linked to anxiety and stress. Overcoming disappointment: early experiences matter We’re all let down at some point in life, but we handle it differently. This is because our early experiences shape our strategies for dealing with disappointment. For example, children who have their emotions dismissed or minimised by adults as they face disappointment are more likely to develop maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as avoidance or shame. And if a child is told to “be tough” when they’re let down, they might not allow themselves to admit they’re disappointed later in life, since they’ll see it as a form of weakness. “Since we all experience it, learning how to deal with disappointment is essential, so we can limit its impact on our well-being and confidence.” Similarly, children who are scolded when they suffer a setback can develop the belief that failure will make them unlovable, and may start to underachieve to avoid potential failure. However, some will do the opposite, becoming perfectionists to prevent any chance of disappointment (impossible!). Dealing with disappointment: 8 tips to try today Here’s the interesting thing: if the way we react to disappointment is learned, this means we can always learn a new way to handle it. So let’s look at some suggestions on how to deal with disappointment. How to deal with disappointment in relationships and friendships Friends and romantic partners often let us down. Here's how to handle it: 1. Manage expectations No human being is perfect, so no relationship is perfect either. In fact, researchers estimate that 70% of the problems couples experience can’t be “solved”. Interpersonal relationships move along a continuum of harmony and disharmony, convergence and divergence. Acknowledging our differences is the basis for more genuine relationships and can also help us learn about our partner’s or friends’ needs and internal mechanisms. 2. Open communication If a friend or partner has let you down, don’t fall into the avoidance trap. Express your feelings without blaming them, and instead explain that your intention is simply to understand them better and strengthen the relationship. 3. Set boundaries Accepting disappointment as a fact of life doesn’t mean you should compromise at all costs and in all circumstances. If someone consistently disappoints you or lets you down, consider redefining the relationship to align with your needs and set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Setting boundaries can help overcome disappointment from others Dealing with disappointment at work Failed to get that promotion or rise? Coworker constantly stealing your light? Here are some suggestions for handling work disappointments. 4. Reframe setbacks Author Brad Warner says that “disappointment is just the action of your brain readjusting itself to reality after discovering things are not the way you thought they were”. Next time you’re let down at work, support your brain in this readjustment or recalibration by changing your narrative about what happened. “Accepting disappointment as a fact of life doesn’t mean you should compromise at all costs. If someone consistently disappoints you or lets you down, set boundaries.” For example, if you didn’t get promoted this time, instead of thinking “all my efforts were for nothing, maybe I'm just not good enough for this company”, try: “this doesn’t invalidate my work. I’ll try to understand better what the company values are and focus on what I can do next to keep advancing”. 5. Don’t linger on the “what-ifs” Avoid blaming yourself, ruminating, or dwelling on what-if scenarios, as this can only lead to feelings of inadequacy. Instead, acknowledge that you did your best and that is something to be proud of. You never want to get to the point of thinking 'why do I hate my life?'. 6. Distract yourself Avoid placing all your self-worth or sense of identity on a single career goal. Instead, after a disappointment, find ways to distract yourself with things that bring you joy outside of work. Overcoming disappointment in daily life Life is full of joy but also regular disappointments! Acceptance is key to dealing with the situation. 7. Sit with disappointment mindfully Deep breathing exercises, a mindfulness meditation session, or a body scan can help you stay grounded in the moment while you allow yourself to experience disappointment without avoiding your feelings or over-reacting to them. Accept feelings of disappointment and handle the emotion 8. Acknowledge your feelings Disappointment can be enmeshed with other emotions, so it’s best to address one emotion at the time. Ask yourself what you're feeling. Is it rage? Then maybe you need to life off steam with a gym session or practise meditation for anger. Is it sadness? Having a good cry does wonders for releasing emotion. Dealing with disappointment in yourself Of course, in addition to being disappointed in other people or in circumstances and things, we can also experience disappointment in ourselves. This can happen when we fail to meet our own standards or goals, which can make us feel self-doubt and low self-esteem. “If a friend or partner has let you down, don’t fall into the avoidance trap. Express your feelings without blaming them, and instead explain that your intention is simply to understand them better.” When it comes to overcoming disappointment in yourself, first embrace self-compassion. Self-disappointment arises from a discrepancy between our actual self and our ideal self, so letdowns are an opportunity to give your actual self kindness and compassion – this is when you need it the most! RELATED: How to Practise Self-Compassion: 6 Proven Techniques This experience also offers an opportunity to reflect and adjust your perceptions. Analyse your reaction to disappointment. Did it make you want to not try ever again? Or did it trigger the perfectionist in you? These may be learned responses that stem from your childhood. If they don’t serve you, it’s time to adjust them. The takeaway: how to deal with disappointment Although disappointment is challenging, every time it surfaces it offers us a valuable opportunity for introspection and growth. The path to growth through disappointment starts with understanding that the way we react to it is a learned or “inherited” response that we can modify if it has a negative impact on us. And by trying some of the coping strategies listed above, you can transform disappointment from being a source of distress into a catalyst for resilience and growth. Remember that the way we respond to life's setbacks shapes our journey far more than the setbacks themselves. To end this article on dealing with disappointment, I want to leave you with a favourite quote from sociologist W.E.B. Dubois: “Strive for that greatness of spirit that measures life not by its disappointments but by its possibilities”. • Images: shutterstock/PeopleImages - Yuri A, shutterstock/baranq, shutterstock/Krakenimages.com happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Relationship advice | Resilience | Hormones Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Thu, 03 Apr 2025 07:16:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/health-body/best-teas-for-bloating/Feeling bloated interferes with daily activities and affects your mood. Dee Marques recommends the best teas that help with bloating and gas so you feel better – fast. Digestive disorders have been on the rise for a long time. Indeed, it’s estimated that up to 15 per cent of the world’s population suffers from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and a growing number of us are affected by food intolerances and allergies. These conditions have many symptoms in common, and bloating is one of them. Luckily, something as simple as drinking a herbal teas can help you debloat and help digestion. But before looking at the best teas for bloating and gas, let's take a look at some of the possible causes of such these common digestive issues. Of course, a bloated stomach isn’t always a symptom of disease, but it’s still uncomfortable and can affect our mood and interfere with everyday activities. In fact, researchers have found that the quality of life in people with digestive conditions is similar to people with clinical depression. Nature's way: drinking herbal teas can relieve bloating and gas There are different things that cause digestive discomfort, including: Functional problems, like constipation, indigestion, IBS or stomach ulcers. Harmful habits like eating too fast, not chewing food properly, smoking, or excessive consumption of refined sugars (fizzy drinks, sweets, etc.). Hormonal fluctuation caused by menopause, pregnancy, PMS, or thyroid imbalances. Emotional distress, stress, depression or anxiety. Because the digestive system is controlled by the nervous system, any spike in stress or anxiety triggers the release of stress hormones. The gut-brain connection is now well documented. The digestive system is home to more than 100 million nerve endings, which is why some call the gut “our second brain” and is also why negative emotional states can trigger digestive complaints, including bloating. “Herbal teas have been used for centuries to boost digestive health and alleviate digestive complaints.” If bloating and gas are caused by a functional problem, you’ll need help from a healthcare professional and simple lifestyle changes can help if bloating is due to bad habits or to stress. In most cases, you’ll also benefit from a tried-and-tested way of relieving gas and bloating: herbal teas. In fact, herbal teas have been used for centuries to boost digestive health and alleviate digestive complaints, and they’re a common remedy in traditional and alternative medicine. Let's look at the most gut-friendly herbal teas, which you can experiment with to find the best tea to debloat and eliminate gas. Best teas for bloating and gas: 8 infusions to try Sick of regularly feeling bloated and uncomfortable? The eight teas below help with digestion can help you debloat fast. Stock up your kitchen cupboard and find out which one works best for you. 1. Ginger Ginger contains enzymes that keep fluids and food moving along the digestive system. Studies show that it increases stomach emptying too. As someone who has struggled with bloating for years, I find myself reaching for fresh ginger root every time I feel the bloat. What tea helps with digestion? Ginger is a winner! In fact, for me, ginger tea truly is the most effective debloat tea as it always seems to sooth my swollen stomach. However, ginger may not suitable for people whose bloating is caused by stomach ulcers, so bear that in mind. 2. Peppermint Ranking high in our list of best teas for bloating and gas is peppermint, one of the most widely available herbal teas. Peppermint has anti-spasmodic properties, so it’s useful to soothe bloating due to cramping. In fact, a 2011 study found certain compounds in this plant (such as menthol) can generate a pain relief response in the gut and are useful for IBS-related bloating. However, peppermint isn’t recommended if you suffer from acid reflux or indigestion. MORE LIKE THIS: The 15 Best Prebiotics to Include in Your Diet Fasting And Autophagy How to Heal Your Gut: 7 Ideas to Restore Belly Health 3. Liquorice Liquorice is used in traditional Chinese medicine as a remedy against stomach ulcers, gas and inflammation, and also to strengthen the digestive system. Furthermore, this root has a long history of health applications dating back to ancient Egypt. Liquorice root is very high in flavonoids, which are known to have anti-inflammatory properties. It’s also rich in triterpenes, compounds which have been found to be anti-viral that help if bloating is due to food poisoning. Furthermore, liquorice has a mild diuretic effect, which is beneficial if bloating is caused by water retention. 4. Chamomile Next in this list of the best teas that help with bloating is chamomile, which is well-known for its medicinal value. Chamomile tea is safe for most digestive conditions and has an anti-inflammatory and anti-spasmodic effect, as it can lower stomach acidity. “Ranking high in the list of best teas for bloating is peppermint. This herbal tea has anti-spasmodic properties, so it’s useful to soothe bloating due to cramping.” What’s more, chamomile is a natural sleep aid and several studies confirm its calming and de-stressing effect. If you find chamomile a bit bland, you can mix it with the other debloat teas on this list – such as peppermint – or add some honey to sweeten. 5. Fennel Fennel is one of the lesser-known herbal teas for bloating. Fennel seeds have an anti-inflammatory effect due to their high anethole content. This compound is also found in anise and lab studies found it can block the body’s inflammatory response. Moreover, fennel is high in fibre, so it encourages bowel function and is a great choice if your digestion is sluggish. Chamomile is another effective debloat tea 6. Hibiscus Beautiful hibiscus flowers aren’t just pretty. Hibiscus has a balancing effect on aldosterone, which is the hormone responsible for keeping the kidneys efficiently processing water and salts and for keeping electrolytes in check. It's definitely the best tea for bloating if you struggle with water retention! This flower is packed with Vitamin C and antioxidants that can strengthen the gut’s function, and studies confirm it can inhibit E.coli, a bacteria that causes gas and bloating. 7. Turmeric Turmeric has been used in Ayurvedic medicine to treat digestive complaints for thousands of years, and is another clear debloat tea option in my books. Turmeric root contains curcumin, which stimulates gallbladder function so that the stomach can break foods down. “Turmeric has been used in Ayurvedic medicine to treat digestive complaints for thousands of years, and is another clear debloat tea option.” Furthermore, studies show that curcumin likes to stay in the digestive system for up to 30 minutes, and other research shows that it has beneficial effects in people affected by colitis. You can drink it on its own or mix it with other warming spices, like cardamom, star anise, and cloves, to make your own version of masala chai tea. 8. Lemon balm Like liquorice, lemon balm is high in triterpenes and has a refreshing flavour. The European Medicine Agency has confirmed its value in helping relieve gas, bloating and slow digestion. In traditional Iranian medicine, lemon balm is considered the best tea for bloating due to its high anti-oxidant content, which can reinforce digestive health. Takeaway: best tea for gas and bloating Nature really is your best ally when it comes to beating bloating and gas. The herbal teas and infusions listed here can help soothe the digestive system and strengthen its function so that you’re less prone to episodes of bloating, especially if you commit to a healthy diet and develop positive lifestyle habits. So, what’s the best tea for bloating and gas in your experience? Share what works well for you in the comments below! • Images: shutterstock/Alex Yuzhakov, shutterstock/dikis, shutterstock/Yakobchuk Viacheslav happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member yet? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support in our happiness forum Healthy habits | Herbalism | Vegetarianism | Gut health Written by Dee Marques A social sciences graduate with a keen interest in languages, communication, and personal development strategies. Dee loves exercising, being out in nature, and discovering warm and sunny places where she can escape the winter.Tue, 01 Apr 2025 23:00:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/how-to-practice-buddhism-beginners/Buddhism is a religion based on the Buddha's teachings. Ann Vrlak explains how beginners can learn how to practice Buddhism by following the concepts and practices in the Buddha’s roadmap, such as The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. Is meditation a Buddhist practice? Many people think so, and in fact, that it best describes “what Buddhists do.” But, if you have ever actually wondered how to become a Buddhist, there is so much more to it than mindfulness meditation! This worldwide religion, founded by the Buddha over 2,500 years ago, is a comprehensive system of values, practices and beliefs that offers a roadmap to create a happy and healthy life. What is Buddhism? Like Christianity, Buddhism began with one extraordinary person who was deeply troubled by the suffering and injustice of many people’s lives. He immersed himself in the religious beliefs of the day, hoping to understand and help alleviate human suffering. RELATED: How Did Buddhism Spread? The teachings that emerged from the Buddha’s transformation are both a religion and a philosophy, based on the core belief that everyone has the capacity to awaken. Beginners can practice Buddhism by following its philosophy and ethics Even though our lives would be almost unrecognizable to people from Buddha's time, our inner lives are not so different. People in all places and times worry about those they care about, feel hunger and loneliness, and have conflicts with others. Becoming a Buddhist means being interested in these eternal questions: why do we suffer and is there a way to end it? How to Practice Buddhism There are many ways to get into Buddhism – through its philosophy, ethics or practices. The best place to begin is to ask yourself: “Why am I interested in becoming a Buddhist?” Are feelings of depression or anxiety becoming all too common for you? Do you want to start a meditation practice? Would you like to be more compassionate with your friends and family? “The ultimate goal of practicing Buddhism is to break free from the cycle of samsara and reach nirvana.” Whatever your answer is right now, Buddhism is a great place to begin because it shows you how to use your personal situations and experiences to deepen the connection with your own inner wisdom. The Buddha’s System The Buddha’s roadmap combines a deep understanding of human psychology with our spiritual aspirations. The following concepts and practices build on each other in ways that strengthen balance and ease. 1. The Four Noble Truths The foundation of practicing Buddhism is the Four Noble Truths: Human life inevitably involves suffering or dukkha (“unsatisfactoriness”) This suffering is caused by the desire for something that is not present and by resistance to what is present The end of desire is the end of suffering through accepting the reality of the present The way to end desire is to follow the Eightfold Path 2. Eightfold Path The Buddha’s Eightfold Path answers the question of exactly how to practice Buddhism. “But what does this look like in my everyday situations and challenges? What do I do?” You can begin to change your thoughts and actions by practicing: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. Meditation is a key component of practicing Buddhism Practicing Right View, for example, means seeing your anxiety about a health diagnosis through an understanding of the Four Noble Truths. Right Speech means striving to communicate with compassion, rather than irritation, and not gossiping about others or telling lies. 3. The Five Precepts Along with encouraging actions that support your path, Buddhism suggests actions to avoid – you strengthen behaviours that lead to wisdom and weaken those that lead to suffering. The Five Precepts help practitioners along the way by avoiding: doing harm stealing sexual misconduct harsh speech intoxication 4. Karma and Samsara The Buddhists tie together the long view of practicing Buddhism with concepts of karma and samsara: how our actions shape our lives – both in this life and in the cycle of birth, death and rebirth, known as “samsara.” “Along with philosophy and guidelines for action, meditation is one of the foundational tools for practicing Buddhism.” Karma explains that what we put into the world, good and bad, returns to us in kind. Harmful actions create suffering and keep us bound in samsara. The ultimate goal of practicing Buddhism is to break free from the cycle of samsara and reach nirvana. Karma: our actions shape our lives How to Practice Buddhism with Meditation Along with philosophy and guidelines for action, meditation is one of the foundational tools for practicing Buddhism. Many different forms of Buddhist meditation have flourished, with most falling into these three types of practice: Mindfulness Meditation Mindfulness meditation is the key way of practicing Buddhism. You learn to observe your experience with some objectivity. “What thoughts am I having and how are they affecting me?” “What emotions are here when I’m arguing with my spouse?” Becoming a Buddhist starts with this kind of curious, non-judgemental self-awareness. Lovingkindness Meditation The practice of kindness and compassion is essential to help us be with the realities of day-to-day human suffering. Lovingkindness meditation teaches you to notice criticism of yourself or others, and instead choose warmth and acceptance. Concentration Awareness and attention are considered superpowers in Buddhism. Your experience of life and your ability to act wisely depend on being able to put your attention where you want it – and to keep it there in spite of distractions or discomfort. Meditation for focus can help you with that. For example, you can learn to focus on your breath to calm your anger. You can also learn to turn your heart inward and practice self-compassion if you're lost in self-blame. Learn More About Becoming a Buddhist There are many (many!) places to learn how to practice Buddhism. You can explore some of our best meditation book recommendations by Buddhist teachers. If you’re interested in how Buddhist practices affect your brain, Buddha’s Brain by psychologist Rick Hanson is a fascinating read! “Becoming a Buddhist means being interested in these eternal questions: why do we suffer and is there a way to end it?” Many meditation apps like Headspace and Calm incorporate Buddhist principles and practices. A relatively new offering, Healthy Minds, is a comprehensive, free app that blends Buddhist principles and practices with neuroscience. RELATED: Do Buddhists Believe in God? If you like podcasts, check out the huge libraries at The Secular Buddhism Podcast or Audio Dharma for content by monks, teachers and psychologists. How to get into Buddhism: further steps If you want to learn more about Buddhism, you may consider joining one of the many Buddhist communities – online or in person – or even pursuing living as a monk for a period of time. A spiritual community, or sangha, is one of the most powerful ways to integrate practicing Buddhism into everyday life while having the support of others. Many established Buddhist centres offer short term retreats as a place to begin your exploration. Nirvana is the ultimate aim of practicing Buddhism These centres can also guide you if you want to take the plunge into a monastic life. Two of the most reputable monasteries worldwide are based on the teachings of Ajahn Chah and Thích Nhất Hạnh (Plum Village). Takeaway: how to practice Buddhism The ancient practice of Buddhism is no less relevant today in our modern world. In fact, many modern psychologists are Buddhists or use Buddhist approaches to reducing anxiety, fostering self-compassion and building stronger connections with people we care about. You can start small with a 15-minute daily meditation, listen to a podcast or dive in with a weekend retreat. Remember that Buddhism starts with self-knowledge. Becoming a Buddhist involves you staying in the driver’s seat from the beginning, choosing where you want to go and which practices suit your interest best. ● Images: shutterstock/New Africa, shutterstock/Cyril Hou, shutterstock/Semachkovsky, shutterstock AI generator happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Dalai Lama | Acceptance | Altruism | Spirituality Written by Ann Vrlak Ann Vrlak is Founder of OneSelf Meditation and a meditation practitioner for over 25 years. She’s a Certified Meditation Teacher for adults and for children (the best job ever!). She loves to share how the perspective and practice of meditation can support people with their everyday stresses and on their journey of self-discovery.Tue, 01 Apr 2025 08:14:00 +0000https://www.happiness.com/magazine/inspiration-spirituality/thich-nhat-hanh-quotes/As one of the most important figures in the fields of mindfulness, meditation and Zen Buddhism, Thích Nhất Hạnh continues to have a major influence around the world. We share some of the best Thích Nhất Hạnh quotes and take a deeper look at his teachings. Thích Nhất Hạnh is recognised internationally as one of the most influential figures in the fields of mindfulness, meditation and Zen Buddhism. Having been ordained as a monk in 1949, Nhất Hạnh has since written more than 100 books and has travelled the world, imparting wisdom and sharing his philosophy on life. Over a period of almost 70 years, Nhất Hạnh built a lasting legacy through his lessons on meditation, self-awareness, understanding, peace, love and non-violent conflict resolution. Thích Nhất Hạnh passed away in 2022 after a long life dedicated to his mission. Thích Nhất Hạnh quotes: engaged Buddhism 'Engaged Buddhism' is a term coined by Thích Nhất Hạnh, with its first known usage coming in his 1967 book, Vietnam: Lotus in a Sea of Fire. As a philosophy, it was heavily influenced by the Buddhism practised and taught by Master Tai Xu, who was influential in helping to reform Chinese Buddhism. While Tai Xu advocated what he referred to as human-life Buddhism, Nhất Hạnh developed this philosophy further. Essentially, the 'Engaged Buddhism' he teaches focuses on using the insight gained through meditation and dharma teachings to ease economic, social and political suffering within society. “When bombs begin to fall on people, you cannot stay in the meditation hall all of the time. Meditation is about the awareness of what is going on — not only in your body and in your feelings, but all around you.” Thích Nhất Hạnh The Thích Nhất Hạnh quote above actually originates from an interview with Lion's Roar magazine and perfectly captures Nhất Hạnh's core belief in 'Engaged Buddhism', which became especially important to him and his spiritual community in the midst of the Vietnam War, during which they aided those that were experiencing the horrors. Thích Nhất Hạnh's influence lives on in his quotes and books Nhất Hạnh saw the help they provided as being part of their mindfulness and meditation practice, rather than something separate from it. What this particular Thích Nhất Hạnh quote demonstrates is the belief that meditation can (and should) extend beyond the self, due to the insight and perspective it provides. Quotes on: The Enemies of Man Over the years, Thích Nhất Hạnh has often used his influence and wisdom to stress the importance of recognising the fact that the true 'enemies of man' are ideological, rather than physical. The most famous example of this philosophy being put into words came in the mid 1960s, in a letter written to Martin Luther King. In it, Nhất Hạnh wrote that the enemies of monks in Vietnam were not man, but "intolerance, fanaticism, dictatorship, cupidity, hatred and discrimination". He also opined that in the civil rights struggle in the US, Martin Luther King's enemies were not specific human beings, but "intolerance, hatred and discrimination". “When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending.” Thích Nhất Hạnh This Thích Nhất Hạnh quote is an interesting extension of the basic 'Enemies of Man' teaching. Once again, it centres on the idea that we should not see those who do wrong as our enemies, or as people in need to punishment or retribution, but instead as people who can be helped, or who are in need of help. MORE LIKE THIS: The Hearth of Buddhism: the Birthplace of Buddha Who is Jon Kabat-Zinn, the Master of Mindfulness? Jack Kornfield: Mindfulness Teacher and Author Throughout the 1960s and 1970s, Nhất Hạnh continued to promote the virtues of non-violence, even in retaliation to violent actions. These words help us to understand the deep-rooted beliefs that made this possible for him. Quotes on: embracing science Another key teaching that has come to define Thích Nhất Hạnh's philosophy is his view that traditional Zen Buddhist practices can work in conjunction with science. In particular, he embraced Western psychological research and utilised aspects when teaching Buddhist Psychology at Vạn Hanh Buddhist University and Cornell University. RELATED: How to Practice Buddhism For Beginners It's only through embracing science in this way that ancient wisdom can play a meaningful role in the modern world. This concept is explored in several of Nhất Hạnh's published works, including the 1992 book, The Diamond That Cuts Through Illusion and Understanding Our Mind from 2001. “Aware of the suffering created by intolerance, we are determined not to be bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. Buddhist teachings are guiding means to help us learn to develop our understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill, or die for.” Thích Nhất Hạnh Appearing in his 1987 book entitled Being Peace, this quote from Thích Nhất Hạnh emphasises the extent to which he discourages dogmatic adherence to any particular set of teachings, because such inflexible attitudes inevitably lead to conflict and, ultimately, suffering, rather than happiness, peace and contentment. Instead, one of Nhất Hạnh's most important philosophies is related to the value of being open to new ideas, being willing to challenge existing ones and being adaptable to new research, evidence and technology. There is, after all, wisdom in letting go of bias and recognising that the concept of 'truth' can be fluid, rather than absolute. Thích Nhất Hạnh travelled all over the globe, sharing his knowledge Quotes on: love and infatuation In more recent years, Thích Nhất Hạnh's teachings have placed an emphasis on the concept of love and on defining precisely what it is. In his 2015 book How to Love, he argues that the ideas of 'love' and 'understanding' are inextricably linked. “Understanding is love's other name,” he writes. With this as the starting point, Nhất Hạnh is able to de-construct the difference between love and infatuation. Love, he says, is about understanding another person and their suffering. Infatuation, on the other hand, is a distraction from one's own suffering and understanding is replaced with fantasy, illusion and projecting ideas onto someone. “If our parents didn't love and understand each other, how are we to know what love looks like? The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness.” Thích Nhất Hạnh Finally, this Thích Nhất Hạnh quote, which also appears in his 2015 book How to Love, neatly sums up one of the most significant conclusions he draws, which is that love is something which can be seen and learned. “If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all,” Nhất Hạnh writes. As Maria Popova points out, this is in-keeping with what psychologists know about the role of 'positivity resonance' in learning how to love. Once again, this quote shows how Thích Nhất Hạnh's traditional Zen Buddhist philosophy can operate in perfect harmony with modern scientific research and reasoning. ● Images: d nelson - arrival, CC BY 2.0, Duc (pixiduc), CC BY-SA 2.0 and mettabebe - Thich Nhat Hanh at festival in Da Nang, CC BY-SA 2.0 happiness.com | The fine art of being: learn, practise, share Are you a happiness.com member? Sign up for free now to: ■ enjoy our happiness magazine with practical life tips ■ share and support others in our happiness forum Gratitude | Acceptance | AltruismThu, 27 Mar 2025 11:30:00 +0000